Red-faced Michelle asks the judges if they should do something differently to improve and Judge Pam lays down the law. “There was a lot of non-eye contact with the judges today on her part,” she says. She tells Michelle that McKenzie kept looking at someone to the left in the audience (ha!). Michelle interviews what she heard, “All I got was ‘She was staring at someone in outerspace.’” Uh Michelle, that’s not what Judge Tight-Ass said at all. You’re pissed because she was probably looking at YOU.
Because it kinda looks like you’ve been off to the left during the entire pageant. And it also looks like you are a little “off.”
We see Michelle tell the judge, “That’s interesting because she NEVER does that. NEVER.”
“Well, she did today,” Judge Pam snots back, winning points from me.
Oh, there’s plenty of eye contact going on right now. LASER eye contact.
“The judge got very defensive,” Michelle interviews, “and I thought she was very unprofessional.” SHE got defensive? Because you totally did. She wasn’t unprofessional, she just told you something you didn’t want to hear or believe. Plus, your kid had ugly duck face, as did you. In fact, please use this episode to know how hideous you look at these pageants, it is truly disconcerting.
And I would recommend kneeling on a heating grate while reciting the entire Rosary.
“She wasn’t looking at anybody!” Michelle says to the judges at their table, tossing her hand up, and we hear, “Yes she was!” and I think it was Judge Pam – she was not in the shot but I think it was her voice. Oh, snap! Now they are just getting bitchy.
Hank says they are getting Emma her horse – it has to be blonde and they are going to color its mane pink. That sounds healthy and safe.
Hope holds Emma’s crown towards her and says, “Do you want this?” Emma smacks the crown and says, “NO!” Yeah, I’m thinking they’ll be doing pageants for maybe another year or two, then Emma’s done. Or more done than she is right now.
Just so you know, new episodes are coming back on Wednesday, July 11th, but at a new time – 9pm EST (it’s usually on at 10pm)…the DVR should know what to do. Fingers crossed there’s more crazy coming our way, or at least crazy pageant moms commenting!
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