And here we go. In Chesapeake, Virginia, let the hatin’ begin. Faithlyn, 9, tells us that when she wins this weekend, you’d better “not hate the queen, but hate the pageant.” Yeah, I’m just going to hate you.
I think she could still be saved if given an emergency Nikkidectomy.
Putting a crown on her, Coach Nikki says she thinks the crown looks better on her than on “that other little brat.” Wow, great sportsmanship. Coach Nikki says that, “My mini-me Faithlyn is ready to go to South Carolina to kick ass.” Klassy. And a miniature version of you is really not what this world needs.
Even the dog feels the evil that IS Coach Cooch.
“Who dresses you?” she asks Faithlyn and Faithlyn points at Nikki. “Yeah, so no wonder you win.” Faithlyn says that Nikki is like a “big sister/mom.” Speaking of, where is your mom?
Oh, yeah, Coach Cooch really has some winning ideas.
Coach Nikki asks Faithlyn what prizes she wants to win and when she replies money, Nikki says, “Well duh.” You know, I’d like to see Nikki’s background. Was she a pageant girl? Who else does she coach? Can she read and write at an 8th grade level? Because I’m thinking no.
Nikki says she met Faithlyn when Faithlyn was three and when she was her cheer coach, and they just hit it off. Is there no mom in the picture? Nikki tells us that in the 10 months Faithlyn has been doing pageants, she’s supremed every time.
Then I’m not sure what this was all about, but Nikki was working on Faithlyn’s skirt, then says, “F*ck I’m using (blank…?what did she say? It was bleeped out). Then she sort of smiles and Faithlyn smiles and I don’t like this at all. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I enjoy swearing like it ain’t no thing and I will unleash foul-mouthed Irish girl when necessary, but I really don’t think it’s right to be swearing – and using the big ones – in front of little kids. Again, where are this kid’s parents? They are absent during the ENTIRE show. I am not sure they are even at the pageant but if they are, they stayed well out of range of the camera.
So…Coach Cooch as she is now going to be known, has Faithlyn dressed in some kind of hoochie outfit and doing a booty bump, and basically the kid looks like a trashy hooker. She tells us if Faithlyn doesn’t win, “I’ll be pissed.” You’d think you’d be more pissed at the clearly deviated septum that is causing you to sound that snot-nosed nasally.
Yes, I am a total bitch and right now it works, or so I think.
2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10