Cariah interviews that if she wins dollars at this pageant, she’s going to buy furniture and snacks. Which leads me to believe her mother has neither, because what 4 year old wants to buy furniture? The kind that’s sleeping on the floor is my guess.
Back in Buckeye, Glamma shows up with the “pearl outfit” for the Under the Sea category of the pageant. Glamma says she expects Alyssa to be perfect, like a football player. “You don’t send them out there without a helmet, ‘cause they’re gonna lose. They’re gonna get hurt.” The helmet is more about injuries than losing, but nice save there at the end. I bet Glamma is an exhausting mother-in-law.
From the Victoria’s Secret Little Kid Line.
Glamma pays for the pageant and this one has set her back $3000, which I’m guessing is a lie. Glamma probably spent twice that. Alyssa looks really pretty in the outfit, so here’s hoping.
Nailed it and the pageant hasn’t even started!
Back in Sparks, today is pageant day and NOW Crystal decides to start packing, saying they are in a rush. Reno must be close? Crystal interviews that it’s Jordan’s time to win big.
“I sit in the audience and watch other children win over and over again,” Crystal interviews, “and I know that we do not have the money everybody else does. So I’ve saved every penny to get us to where we are today.” You know, you can NOT WIN pageants by not entering them in the first place, right? I don’t win pageants every week and it doesn’t cost me a dime!
Continuing with the sadness that is this entire family, Jordan says, “My mom just wants me to win because she just wants me to get a break.” I get the feeling that this mom thinks if she does this, that Jordan will get her big break and become a celebutard and life will be good for her. For some reason this whole family just made me sad, like what their lives were just wasn’t enough – nothing was going to make these people happy except money. And my guess is, money would not solve whatever problem is going on here.
“I’d rather be outside riding my scooter and climbing trees,” Jordan interviews. Wait! A kid that likes playing outside? Someone should take this kid to Antiques Roadshow and see what they can get for her!
Pageant Day! Luckily Ty and Cariah are already there. Hey, it’s pageant Emcee Peter Brady Gorbachev. Pageant Director Carol says the pageant is so exciting, “You guys are going to be blowed away.” Sigh. Well, Americans might not be speaking Mandarin but we sure as shit aren’t speaking English either.
So Carol goes through the group of kids coming, but the funniest part is when she talks about Jordan. Carol says that Jordan is the local favorite and her mom wants it really bad. When someone off-camera asks if there is anything else she’d like to add, Carol says, “No, cause I think she’s not gonna do well,” and we hear wah-wahhh music and Carol laughs. “I don’t. I don’t put my money on her. Anyway…” HAHAHA! Poor Jordan. I bet Crystal shit when she watched this episode.
P-U does Jordan stink!
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