Cariah’s makeup artist says this is a new experience for her – she’s never done pageants and she’s never worked on such a little girl. Good move, Ty, hiring someone with no pageant experience, doyee. Pageant makeup is WAY different than regular makeup.
When the makeup artist is done, Ty of course has to have something negative to say, what with all of her training. She says one eyebrow looks different than the other and of course it doesn’t. Dumbass.
Let me blind my child in the hopes her eyebrows look better
The makeup artist says Ty was a little intense and that, “There is only so much makeup you can put on a 4 year old.” Uh, makeup artist, have you been living under a rock? This show has been on for YEARS and has gotten tons of press…if you haven’t seen the amount of makeup going on these kids, you are not paying attention. TO ANYTHING!
This ain’t right.
“After seeing what I’ve seen today, I won’t be signing up to do pageant makeup on a regular, consistent basis,” makeup artist says. So you will be signing up on an irregular, inconsistent basis?
Let’s get this damn thing started. Carol tries to tell us that confidence trumps “everything” but I know none of us buy that bullshit. It’s all about facials.
Ty is totally up in Cariah’s grill about how she’s moving, how she’s smiling, and which direction she needs to slide in right before she goes onstage. You can tell Cariah is confused and really doesn’t want to be there. “Swallow your spit,” she tells Cariah. Great coaching.
What do you mean I suck, mom? Don’t you love me?
“If Cariah walks away empty-handed, there will definitely be some type of thoughts behind my mind,” Ty tells us. There just won’t be any thoughts actually IN your mind.
Hey, please don’t phellate the mic.
Cariah is up first and the emcee pronounces it wrong. Come on, it rhymes with Mariah, doyee. Cariah does okay but she looks like the dress totally exploded all over her. One of the judges says the dress completely overwhelmed her and you couldn’t see her face because it was so distracting. Heh.
Is there a little girl in there somewhere?
Alyssa tells us she’s not nervous at all and damn if that kid doesn’t have it down. She is absolutely flawless onstage and looks exquisite, and me no likey the kids as you know, so that sentence was a bitch to write. I couldn’t put my finger on it until one of the judges said she just looked “clean and clear.” That is exactly it – she looks perfect. Glamma is thrilled.
Done and done, bitches, courtesy of GLAMMA!
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