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Finally security shows up to let bonehead Crystal in her room – she claims it took them HOURS, which, really? Maybe Crystal is sad because she’s so stupid?
Crystal says that Jordan’s swimsuit is somewhat difficult to get on and again, did it ever occur to you to PREPARE before you came to a pageant? It’s becoming pretty clear why Jordan isn’t winning – BECAUSE OF CRYSTAL! Things don’t just magically come together without hard work or preparation, Crystal! Dumb+Ass=Crystal.
Crystal tells Jordan to tell the makeup artist to help her with the costume, and when Jordan mentions it to the woman, she says, “That’s something for your mom to handle, right?” YES. Crystal interviews that the makeup artist was “awful,” which is not true and totally unfair. It’s not her job to do YOUR job. Maybe if you spent more time preparing and less time in the hallway on your damn phone, your kid would win.
Crystal says the makeup artist said it was not her job to put the costume together. “What is your job?” Crystal spats. Uh, hair and makeup? Even Jordan is like, “She’s just a hair and makeup person.” Stupid Crystal. It’s clear she bought a costume that is way beyond her capabilities of putting on her child. Dumbass times 100.
Jordan looks adorable onstage but that shell thing that Crystal didn’t attach properly looks look just swinging around. One of the judges says Jordan has “a typewriter on her forehead…I am moving right…t-t-t…I am moving left…t-t-t.” Meaning, Jordan is thinking about things too much.
Crisis! Cariah tripped over some suitcase or something and hurt her ankle and Ty will have none of the crying or snot running down her face. Whatever. They run a little late but not really so again, whatever.
Cariah gets onstage and what the shit is on her head? A crab and a bunch of seaweed. That outfit is way over the top. Ty says the outfit makes her stand out. And how! One of the judges said the crab on the head was clever but it wasn’t glitz. Ooops.
Judges discuss contestants…loved Alyssa, Cariah’s dress was way over the top, wow that judges boobs are HUGE, Jordan needed bigger hair and a tan… “She needs a little TLC.” Another job for the hair/makeup person?