They go dark on the tanning and I have to say, the lady does a nice job on the tanning. It looks reasonably natural and not at all like graffiti art.
I wonder if she’d paint my basement walls with that?
Then the moms face off: Marcy vs. April. April says that Kailia is her only competition; Marcy says Kayla is in no way on the same level as Kailia. I have to agree there. If I didn’t know Kayla was four, I would have guessed two on the developmental scale or that she is suffering from what I will refer to as “Calamari Austism™.”
Count me in!
We have Emcee Screamer who I do believe is auditioning for the ShamBrow™ pitchman job like BedHeadJen mentioned. Why do people who use microphones always seem to forget how they work?
Peter Brady + Seth MacFarlane + Mikhail Gorbachev = Emcee
Pageant Director Carol does her overview of the kids but also the moms, discussing the rivalry between Kailia and Kayla, and we see video of Kailia in the elevator screaming, “My business is to control this room. NOW!” What the hell?
Calm down you crazy bitch!
Carol says, “I think it’s just a matter of who is going to drop the ball at the touchdown line.” This is a pageant, please do not bring organized sports into it because we have no idea what you are talking about! Especially me.
Kailia is throwing a raging crying fit and Marcy says it’s because when they arrived, Kayla told her she would kick her butt and she was going to beat her. Oh, come on, I don’t believe that. I think she’s crying because she’s tired/crabby/missing her Pixie Stix. “Kailia’s feelings were hurt because she thought Kayla was her friend.” How? You are totally building up a rivalry with those kids. I just don’t get this, seems sort of faked by Marcy.
What, me lie?
“That’s not nice,” Marcy says. “We’re all here to have a good time. It should be no one’s main objection to beat just one person.” How about main OBJECTIVE, Marcy? She recommends that “some parenting” be done here. Back atcha, bitch.
I’m not sure how you all felt about this, but I sort of got the feeling Marcy was not completely sincere but more playing for the cameras. Anyone else? She keeps saying she wants to keep “a good sportsmanship” with the kids, but I’m not sure she’s telling the truth. Also, I think Pageant Director Tonya should recommend a good thyroid doctor for Marcy! Her eyes look like they are begging to escape her skull.
April says she and Marcy are “frenemies” and she thinks Marcy is making up stuff to make herself look good. Well, she’s not making up what your kid said, we saw the comments earlier, but I do agree with making herself look good.
Kayla is throwing a fit as April tells us she’s not at a pageant to make friends. I doubt you have many outside of pageants, either. But let’s go ahead and get this party started.
And just a side note, Kayla’s hairpiece is the worst!
Danielle says she thinks she beautiful without “everything,” but I have to say her hair is a hot mess of teasing, no curls and lots of hairspray. I mean, it is AWFUL! You can see the teasing underneath and she totally looks like Priscilla Presley back in the day. It’s not pageant hair, it’s Grand Old Opry knockoff hair. I would totally have taken points off for that on the scorecard in my little mind!
Looks like I spoke too soon.
And this angle ain’t any better!