Beauty is up first. Tedi tells us that her husband drove 800 miles roundtrip to California to pick up the dress from Miss Muffet who clearly cannot be trusted in getting a pageant dress to a customer in a timely fashion. Too bad that’s her CHOSEN PROFESSION. Hope they got a discount. However, lots of points to the dad that did this.
Dad of the Year, I tell ya!
But catastrophe! The beauty dress is too long in the front and short in the back.
And now I’m dead on the inside.
Tedi’s worried Danielle is going to trip. That would suck. The dress is pretty, but could you not find a dressmaker in town or at least close by to do the dress? Maybe it is too specific a type of dress, but not trying on the dress until the day of is ridiculous.
Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean.
April is grilling Kayla about paying attention and you can see Kayla is on overload. Her little mind cannot take all the input and she is about to malfunction. Also, April needs to CHILL.
Kayla is up next and she does a pretty good job. She blinks a little too much in the beginning but then she relaxes and seems more confident.
Cute, but the hair is still super-weird.
Who doesn’t seem confident is Marcy who is making a bunch of horse-faces by baring her teeth then putting her lips over them. Kayla does a great job. Little brat!
Seriously? Did someone not give you an apple or carrot today?
Judge Kirin loved her and thought she was adorable. Crap. I hate when bratty kids get rewarded on this show, but I guess that is just par for the course if I can did into my bag-o-clichés.
Almost as good as Chooky Moves. I said almost.
They call the five year olds and Kayla screams, “Kailia!” while Kailia is preparing to go onstage. I’m not sure why or what she was going to do, but Kailia is too busy to notice so we don’t know if it was going to be a “Good luck!” or a “Get bent!” Marcy voices over that Kayla is “not” competition for Kailia. Too bad she doesn’t sound like she means it. “They’re not even in the same league.” Which I wish was 20,000 under, but whatever.
But I notice we are getting a pineapple head vibe again…
Kailia is up and she does a nice job. She seems a little stiffer than I would have thought and her head/face look way too adult for her body, but Judge Toniann loved her. So done and done. Kailia says, “I did a really good job!”
And she celebrates by picking out something gold for herself.
Danielle is very stressed about her pageant dress and needs some water to calm her tummy. Scotch might work better. She does a great job but I kept waiting for her to trip over the front of her dress.
The TOTAL money shot…she looks like a fabulous Barbie and I must have one!
Her hair looks like shit but she’s a beautiful little girl and she does this sweepy thing in the dress which fits her perfectly on the top. She did feel like the judges were looking at the bottom of her dress and Judge Kirin does say the dress was too long but she was “stunning.” Excellent.
How come Greg got all the best storylines?
Outfit of Choice is next, or as ShamBrow™ SpokesEmcee says, OUTFIT OF CHOICE. Kayla is dressed as Slutty Shirley Temple and she screams she wants to go NOW! as she slams the wall with her hand. Klassy! Keep kittens away from Kayla!