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Toddlers & Tiaras: Frenemies!
Toddlers and Tiaras
Sunday, July 15, 2012
3:13 pm
54 Comments
In Kayla’s group, they name the first queen…then the divisional queen…neither are Kayla, so she pulls for a bigger title. Kailia tells her mother that Kayla says she’s going to win and get the big trophy and Marcy continues to make stress face.
Way to hide it, Marcy. Are ALL pageant moms the Heir of Slytherin, because they seem to be.
Junior Miss group which is Kailia’s group…queen…not Kailia…divisional queen…also not Kailia, so she pulls for a higher title too. Marcy unclenches and her colon thanks her.
Young Miss group, with Danielle…queen…not Danielle…divisional queen…not Danielle! So all of our girls pull for a higher title. Let the rivalry begin.
Kailia interviews she’s going to win and get the money and buy candy and all kinds of stuff. “Including panties.” What the hell is going on in that household?
Mm-mmm and panties too.
Grand supreme titles! Grand Supreme goes to…Danielle! She is thrilled and runs up on stage with a huge smile. She is happy about the win. She really has gotten nicer!
Well deserved!
Second Grand Supreme is…Kayla! April says Kayla could have won higher if she had practiced more. Marcy is thrilled and reaaaally doesn’t care.
Meh.
Doesn’t anyone learn basic etiquette anymore?
So Ultimate Grand Supreme with Cheese in the Crust is Kailia! Marcy about has a stroke and shows us how to plyo the P90X way by jumping through the ceiling.
Zero gravity YAY!
Kailia interviews that she’s so happy and full of energy and to prove it she holds her breath which keeps all of her happy on the inside! Then she exhales so she doesn’t die. She fans herself with her money. Good one.
And that is a SWEET set of glow-in-the-dark luggage!
“I want a rematch. I really do,” April says. Marcy says they hit it “strong and better every time.” April is smoldering.
And if Kailia doesn’t exhale her happiness, it will blow out her ass. I guess it’s a family thing.
Onstage are all the winners and Kailia puts her fan of money on top of Kayla’s head like a crown…seemed cute. But then April cries while interviewing that Kailia was “fanning her money in front of Kayla’s face.” Oh please. But then Kailia asks Kayla if she wants some of her money, then says, “Just joking.” April says she just doesn’t know where that comes from. Yes you do.
Marcy says they won Ultimate by “being sweet to other girls.” Yeah, I don’t think they score for that and I don’t actually think it’s true.
What? I really mean it, I swear.
They put the three moms together at the end (pure genius) and April says she thinks Kayla’s competition is Kailia. You know, they are so different…Kailia seems really alert and smart for 5 and honestly, Kayla seems a little behind on her development. I’m basing that on all of my child-rearing experience, of which I have none. But she just doesn’t seem that alert, her vocabulary is limited and she seems to throw a lot of tantrums…moms out there, thoughts on this one?
Hating is fun!
“Kayla is right behind Kailia,” April says. Marcy immediately spats, “That’s not Kailia’s competition.” There’s that good sportsmanship! Marcy says they’ve competed against her but never lost to Kayla. April makes a face and says she hopes one day Kayla will beat Kailia. Now it’s Marcy’s turn to make a face. “Oh it won’t happen,” she spats. WHAT A COOCH! And I think Tedi is really rethinking being a pageant mom.
So to Marcy: We aren’t buying the good sportsmanship bullshit you felt the need to spew. Save it for confession; everyone lies in there.
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54 Comments
This just in: Miss Muffet dies after a fall into a hole running away from a spider that landed on her tuffet. Eyewitnesses report that hole wasn’t there before. Tedi seen hiding a shovel while saying “No Comment” and referring us to her attorney.
Great recap as always, DC!
When Marcy talked about someone needed some parenting, I wanted to ask for her mama’s phone number so I can give her a call. Apparently Marcy’s mom doesn’t have cable or there would have been some parenting going on.
I honestly didn’t remember Kailia and I barely remembered Kayla (I remembered Shirley Temple but I didn’t know it was her). I did remember Danielle because I thought she was a bit old to burst into tears on stage before. It seems like she did calm her little act down. Maybe Dad of the Year had a little talking to with her to teach her how to act in public. Dad for the win!
And that Shirley Temple outfit sure is a crowd pleaser…as long as the crowd you are talking about is the Sex Offender pod at the Maricopa County Jail. Those gasps and laughs in the pageant audience are nervous “is she really dressed like that? where do I look?” noises, not “Yay howdy, look at her go!” cheers. Well, at least they should be.
Love the recap! Hilarious. I’m hoping the rest of this season is this good! Man these moms are nuts! Can somebody please tell me how moms get this crazy!!
I still have not watched this episode. I love the recap in a laugh out loud way. Loved the reference to our favorite squid. The K’s hair was bad, really bad.
I do think Kayla is cute, I also think my kitten that throws up constantly is pretty cute too…I may not be the best judge of these things, I also seem to enjoy morbidly obese children more so than the average person might. That being said, I feel like April was attempting to be a stern parent in response to flack from her previous episode. April stated in Kayla’s first appearance that she thought the bratty tantrums were ‘cute’. She is probably now realizing that her daughter has that special blend of sociopath and autism that Camarie (sp?) made so memorable. Few of the children showcased on T&T are anywhere near the social, intellectual or emotional level they should be; in fact the regression of their personality is often encouraged. That’s part of what makes the show so entertaining I guess, it gives me hope that my lack of interest in children, and overall inexperience with child rearing will not harm me when I decide to give up my figure and breed, I mean these parents show little awareness an or skill with children and manage to keep them alive.
I hate the blow up doll face and ‘dimple fingers’ it’s not cute, it’s creepy. Also, has anyone noticed the frequency of lisping and speech impediments heard from many of the participants? Is this encouraged, or not corrected because the parents have similar difficulties? I’ve always wondered…
I did not “get ” the nurse performing magic tricks. Her mother should have put some tap pants on her – especially with the routine she was doing. Kayla is so cute, until she opens her mouth. There were totally shades of calamari going on this episode. You rocked this recap Dear Tabby!!
I don’t remember either Kayla or Kalia. And I don’t think I was watching T&T yet, the last time Danielle was on.
I’m agree with featherhead I didn’t Kalia’s nurse routine. If her mom wanted her to do magic why not just have her be a magician.
I didn’t think this episode was bad, but I hope next week’s is better.
ABC Family showed Edward Scissorhands this weekend and I had it on while watching this episode. And I think someone should create a Tim Burton pageant, I think that would be a way more entertaining pageant theme than most of the ones shown on T&T.
Crabby, you are the best! Cherry Poppins made me laugh loud enough to interrupt the log sawing of the slumberjack in my bed.
I think Kayla was blinking alot during her beauty on purpose. She did it to taunt Marcy and her congenital blinking failure. This explains Marcy’s horsefaced angry reaction after Kayla was finished.
I am betting the next time the two of them meet, Kayla’s hairpiece will be filled with bees so she can sting the competition.
I weep for the future!
My post is waiting for moderating? Is this common?
@penny yes
Ah, t&t– how I have missed your unique blend of crazy casting, unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on whether you are a contestant, or a gasmii), editing, and general “staging”!! Where to begin? Kayla was still a raging brat (though physically “cute”, in a cabbage-patch-kid meets chucky kinda way)– I would have liked her mom better this go-round were it not for the way she seemed to encourage the smack-talk. Manners, people!! Teach them!!! Kailia— I kinda love her wackadoodle personality, didn’t quite “get” the nurse routine (but at least she left what little she was wearing ON!). Holy hell, though, I don’t remember wanting to smack her mother half as much last time as I did this time. Marcy– switch to decaf. Seriously. I expected to hate Danielle and the unfortunately monikered “tedi”, but honestly, I didn’t. Danielle really has grown up, as has her mom– or maybe they both just saw what asses they looked like last time and decided to take it down a notch. All in all, though– Yawn!!!
I’m not sure, but wasn’t Kayla also the girl in an earlier episode who did the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader routine where she was thrusting her crotch at the judges?
Why yes, she was.
Marcy is a straight up bitch!! She tries to act like she was so good at sportsmanship,,, please.. a pageant mom that acts that way will get it handed to her someday.. oh its coming!! And you are teaching your kid good manners and to act right?? WOW.. think again.. Please put those big ass eyes back in your head and quit clinching your teeth and making those ugly faces!! Not my favorate T&T..
I DO remember Kayla and Kailia. Kayla is still a MF BRAT, cute, but you just want to smack her upside the old head. I thought Kailia was adorable last time and again this time! As for Danielle, she behaved better, but good God- That hair. Perhaps Miss Muffet sent her tuffet along with the dress so Danielle could wear it on her head?? BTW, who designs those honeycomb hair pieces, they are atrocious!
Anyhoo, as always Crabby, a fine piece of journalism. I am still chuckling, but quietly so the Boss doesn’t hear me.
if marcy wasn’t playing up that “good sportsmanship” crap for the cameras, then she is more delusional than samijo-tricia, who is pretty high up there on the in-denial scale.
as a general concept, i actually have nothing against pageants … possibly because i begged my mother to let me do them as a kid and wasn’t allowed … but WHY is it that the judges CONSISTENTLY find the most alarming, age-inappropriate, pedophile-elating routines so “hilarious”? it’s freakin’ disturbing.
the full recap did not disappoint, and now i’m getting ready to read the also-hilarious comments. i swear, i was counting down the days for this episode to air so i could read a fresh recap.
The comments now need moderator’s approval? Oh, Flip, how could you?
@clair Lol!! They always have you nut! I was just slacking that day.
DID ANYONE SEE CHEER PERFECTION [tlc's new show] !!! I missed it and I’m dying too see it anyone have the details ?? please and thankyou
DearCrabby, I just snarfed my alcoholic beverage!!! You do not miss a thing! ‘Mikhail
Gorbachev = Emcee’ lolololsnarf! I’ve stopped watching the trainwreck but continue to read your recaps…my adoration to you!
Cathy21 in response to your request – from PD in the BH Nannies recap
“Commercial. Did anyone see Cheer Perfection on TLC on Wednesday after Toddlers and Tiaras? It was not only unpleasant – without exception, the moms were wholly unlikeable and the kids weren’t that much better – but boring. Some of the kids/moms have appeared on Toddlers and Tiaras, including Torann, who was bad enough on T&T but has sunk to a new low on Cheer Perfection – she let another child deliberately fall during a cheer stunt. When the coach challenged Torann, little miss psychopath said nothing. What a horrid little girl, jeopardizing someone’s health – even life – out of pique that she wasn’t on the top of the pyramid. So with that, the unlikeable moms and the huge boredom factor, if they turn Cheer Perfection into a series, I won’t be watching. From what I saw on Twitter last night, no one else will either. So if you see this on your local schedule, don’t bother. “
19 comments!!! where are all the comments?? 70% of the fun is the review and 30% are all the comments! Come on Jennifer Calamari Lopez… where are you?
Greatness from Dear Crabby as usual. I wish someone could give me a believable explanation for all of Kayla’s “booty-popping”. First of all, she looked like she might strip a gear; secondly, she reminded me of a dog humping. Not a cute look at all.
Personally I liked Danielle’s hair. Just think it wasn’t put together well. Loved her beauty dress!! Not fitting it before was a huge mistake but Danielle pulled it off. Her cherry routine was much to low level for her age. She needs to start getting some skills at this point. BIG thumbs up to her dad doing the traveling for his daughter. Hope that Danielle can get over her perfection personality as it is not health & she is not pushing herself for fear of failure.
Kayla’s mother to me appears to not have an attachment to her daughter. She is so stoic & unflappable when her daughter acts out. Just odd. Realize that editing is in the mix but Kayla is so miserable & her mom appears uncaring.
Marcy, Marcy, Marcy, what are you thinking? Daughter not problem. Mom -ugly.
DC- great recap. Adore you as always. Glad we are back. Crock
@labowner. well… i thought the same thing about dance moms when i watched it, but it has a HUGE fan base. So, explain that. Cheer Perfection to me was Dance Mom’s with cheerleaders.
Cheer Perfection is the only one I caught last Wed. (stupid math homework got in the way) I had for T&T to be put online. I loved it! Some of the moms were featured on T&T and they were somehow even more crazy and delusional. And the girls obviously could not care less about cheerleading, which made how obsess the moms were with it even more sad and hilarious. I know some people are comparing it to Dance Moms, but the moms on DM are like more sane, and the girls obviously care about and love to dance.
Cheer Perfection is more like T&T with cheerleaders.
Hi everyone, long time watcher of T & T, longtime recap reader, first time posting.
I remember Danielle clearly from her earlier episode, and while I do have to agree that she matured (that comes naturally when you are 2 years older), she is STILL a spoiled brat who thinks beauty is the most important thing in life. If I had to hear her say one more time how beautiful she was, I was going to hurl my chip bowl at the tv. Her mother is only enabling her by accepting this behavior, and Danielle will need lots of therapy in the future. I personally think she was so “happy” to win the crown she won so that she didn’t look like a total bee-otch on national television again; her running up to accept with her big smile seemed so forced to me. She probably cried when the cameras stopped rolling.
I do feel badly, however, that she is so hard on herself.
Dear Crabby, I love your recaps and I stalk the site every week waiting for them to be posted. Keep ‘em coming, you make my day!
Am I the only one who thought Danielle had lost some of her swag from her previous episode? Yes, she was a little brat, but on stage she turned it ON and, IMO, was kind of perfect–without being over the top. This time, kind of meh.
Fun fact—Kayla got that Cowboys cheerleader costume from Kailia!
Lol pretty slow episode.
Random pageant gossip, a couple months ago Marcy was complaining that someone on a message board accused her of beating her kid to get get her to practice and posted the link. Her friends rushed over to defend her. Funny thing was the board owner matched the IP on the post accusing her of beating her kid to the IP on the post of her defending herself. Strange people. I think she wants her own show.
Kayla reminds me of Calamari and her mom’s sportsmanship reminded me of the squids mom. You can tell she was prompted to say she was going to kick Kailia’s butt. The whole thing was pretty sad. I’m glad DC mentioned the length of the lesson. It seemed excessive for a kid that young.
I was happy to see Danielle’s behavior had improved so much. Hated the bad fall but she has come a long way.
The Miss Muffet thing was because Miss Muffet was trying to text her home phone. There’s a lot people in pageants who are like this, they have been around since the dawn of time and they don’t get new fangled technology like text messages and emails. I don’t understand why Tedi didn’t pick up the phone and call her earlier. Why leave things like a dress to chance? Why wait until the last minute to have your dress delivered? I don’t think it’s fair to put the blame all on one person in this equation lol.
^^ in tedi’s defense, miss muffet should have called, too. i hate when people try to avoid responsibility by only using texts … at least call and leave a freakin’ voicemail.
@Gwen did she get the ooc from Kailia or the idea from Kailia? Because I saw the banners Marcy made accusing April of copying them, and it included the pictures of the girls in the cheerleader outfits. If Marcy sold the ooc to April, then it would be crazy to make a banner accusing someone of copying them lol
@stagemom – well, but when you think of the odds of marcy doing something crazy ….
@ellemenop yeah she could have, but Tedi is the one who had the deadline, you would think she would have followed up if it was important. I just don’t get all these moms on the show who are freaking out over things not being delivered on time or who have new outfits shipped to the hotel without trying them on. Maybe that’s the real reason why I would never go on this show, because we don’t have pageant crisis. We would bore you to death
I was on a Facebook page made by Kailia’s parents and someone asked on a photo of Kailia in the outfit if they copied Kayla and this was the answer:
“Yes it was Kailias my mother made it and I had cowboy baby put on the back. It was then sold to Kayla. She is the third person in Kailias outfit. We copy no one and come up with are own ideas.”
too bad there is a big difference between copying someone and buying a used outfit — the implication is that it has already been worn by someone, so it’s not so much copying. i swear, these people!
OK now that’s crazy. You sell the outfit to someone and then accuse them of copying you. Not that the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader is a unique idea, I could have made an entire squad at a pageant we once did in Texas LOL!
@stagemom – One of the girls had bruises on her inner arms. My husband immediately thought she looked abused. I can’t remember which girl but if it was Marcy’s daughter, that would make your information even more interesting. That is so odd.
@Ms Cool I think the one who was grabbed was Kayla not Kailia. I don’t think Kailia is forced to practice or is in any way abused, she’s one of the girls featured on the show who really does have the “IT” factor. She’s been featured a couple times now and she seems to love practicing and competing.
When the owner of the pageant board took down the posts about Marcy beating her kid, they also posted that the IP address of the person accusing Marcy of beating her kid matched the IP address that Marcy was using to defend herself. Posting banners accusing people of copying you (when you sold them the outfit) and posting crazy mean posts about yourself on message boards, and then sending people to go and defend you just takes narcissistic personality disorder to a new level.
Cheer Perfection is way more worse than T&T.. And they are making cheer moms look way more worse. That Alisha is a straight up bitch. Her daughter is good but if thats the team that she is using for so called PERFECTION.. she needs a new team in my opinion.. the girls that were being featured couldnt even do a back handspring!! Hope this show doesn’t last but she loves the drama so it will.. Kind of reminds me of Eden’s world.. LMAO
@StageMom-Cut Marcy some slack.
If I was unable to close my eyes, I would have online conversations with myself too. 8)
Cheer Perfection is a combo of t&t and dance moms…i love Nutty McNutterson..that girl crazy!!!
next week there will be a few slight moments when i’ll get to see my all time fav-girl malenzie mayer..shes in the same pagent..!!!
Crabby fan for the same reason Jersey Shore is popular? I have no fucking clue.
@bedheadjen that made me spit my coffee out! So true!
How is it possible that I have nothing to say about this Episode? Am I going crazy?
As for Cheer Perfection, I so wanted to jump through my tv and bitch slap Alicia into next week!
1) major exophthalmos going on with Marcy, glad you said something! Thyroid radiation needed STAT.
2) why did the emcee have a hicky on his cheek?
3) Kailia’s “personality” isn’t going to be cute in a few years.
4) Does someone want to tell Danielle that she’s already losing some of her pretty and puberty doesn’t help matters one bit? She is destined for an eating disorder or a psychopathic murdering rampage. I can just picture her holding a weapon screaming “TELL ME I AM PRETTY!!!!”
Here is a clip of Kailia and Marcy being interviewed on Fox News a while ago. It’s pretty funny.
Marcy Deliz is total drama, she talks about good sportsmanship but her behavior is worst of them all. Not only has the drama she’s had with Kayla carried over to FB but she has created banners of other innocent children ripping them to shreds. Yes they sold the outfit to Kayla and now she’s a copycat. I wonder where the strong male figure is that should be protecting the kids from these crazy moms. Both moms do not work and stay home and do nothing but play pageant and neither child really even goes to school. It’s disgraceful.
Show is coming on soon. I forgot the twitter group to tweet during the show. If anyone has it, please share.
Thank you!!! I am watching the repeat of the cheer show now.
Kalia’s makeup was spackled on in this episode, which was really distracting. Kayla is, I’m sorry, very cute. But she’s a holy terror and she needs to be smacked, as does her mother.
Danielle is stunning. Her features are nearly perfect, in that Christy-Turlington symmetrical way. And wow, does she know it. Jesus, someone tone down her “I’m beautiful” mantra already. I’m glad she seems to have learned something / matured since her last show. I do think she handled her time on stage with a lot of grace, considering her concerns about the length of her gown.
Can we pool some money together and convince the judges to COME OUT AND ADMIT that is is inappropriate and trashy for little girls (or anyone, I suppose) to “booty pop”??
Kayla is a much brighter kid than I think you are crediting her for being. Oh, yeah, she’s a pint sized curmudgette of the first order, which has its own charm in the way Oscar the Grouch has charm, and she’s mad, mad, mad all the time. She owns that and tells you. She’s got her life’s problem already figured out ad she admits it. She knows exactly why she can’t have the crackers too: Because I’m not listening!
She’s adorable to me. Just fussy and annoyed most of the time. She smiled while her friend won and made money crowns on her head. I don’t think she’s a mean little girl. She probably wouldn’t even think about butts or kicking them either if not for her mother telling her that’s what will be judged by real judges, and peanut butter crackers.
Although, naturally, I do think all these girls are being taught all the wrong things, cute ones, pretty ones, and smart ones, notwithstanding.