Dad Matt is actually a cool dad as he wears a tiara on his head and tells Kendyl to wink at him (which she does with both eyes). Kendyl is clearly a daddy’s girl and Matt adores her. “Kendyl’s owned me since the day she was born,” he gushes. “I cried for probably 45 minutes, I was bawling,” he says of her birth. Okay, I totally love this guy, what a great dad.
Jessica asks Kendyl to show her a “pretty girl face” and Kendyl promptly slaps her mother in the face. God-given personality. Luckily Matt grabs her arm and although kind of laughing, says, “No.” Way to go, dad.
Baby’s first right hook!
Jessica asks Kendyl for a kiss but instead she screams and slaps, then double-slaps her mother. Jessica laughs because not disciplining your brat is super-fun when you don’t actually do it!
In Mobile, Alabama, which looks like a really pretty city, we’re at the local Marine headquarters where they are chowing down on pizza. Alanna, 6, tells us she’s got “mad attitude” and she does the snap across the screen. Yeah, you also have Asian eyes which makes you look like an urban Chinese anime.
I am Sia-ameeese if you ple-eeease….
Mom Yolanda tells us Alanna is going to bring out the inner diva. Dad Jeffrey is in the Marines, so hats off and I’m glad you are stationed stateside my friend. Yolanda tells us that although Alanna started doing pageants when she was 2, they have taken the last couple of years off due to the constant moving.
And to catch up her sleep, huh Sleepyhead?
Dad Jeffrey is absolutely a cute-patootie and he says he thinks Alanna is going to do “real well,” so kudos to America for finally producing a pageant family that speaks proper grammar, that was a nice way to start the new year. Did I mention he’s adorable? Because this guy? Is adorable.
How about a reality show on these guys? Eh, probably too normal.
Yolanda tells us that during the 2 years Alanna competed she won about $15,000. Of course, she doesn’t tell us what she spent on those pageants. Then the creepy rears its head. She tells us Alanna has an alter-ego. “I’m Sasha Fierce!” Alanna tells us. Oh, honey, I think that’s already taken, and the real Sasha Fierce might cut you if she knew you stole her gig. Or she’ll just have her team of lawyers come get you.
Alanna’s 15 minutes of fame on Soul Train.
Alanna prances around her dad’s office as the other marines and their wives look on, she does the z-snap of the 90s and shows some attitude. “Alanna likes competing in pageants but Sasha LOVES competing in pageants,” Alanna tells us. Rut-roh, sounds like someone has split into two in order to deal with these pageants!
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