“I tell my judges it’s about the beauty and the God-given personality,” he reiterates. God really effed up on Kendyl and Jozy, dude, you might consider giving Buddha a chance.
Michael says he doesn’t care about using hairpieces as long as it doesn’t LOOK like a hairpiece. Yes, because all babies have long, luxurious locks and huge bun heads. He does not care for the “dead poodle” hanging off the back of a kid’s head. How awesome would it be if it were a LIVE poodle?
“Same thing with the flippers…if you look like a horse with the teeth in your mouth, you should take them out,” he says. He also likes natural tans versus looking like you’ve been “rubbed down in iodine.” Michael, please come drinking with us when we get the logistics all worked out. Please!
Kendyl starts pageant day by screaming and crying and throwing things. They are putting a blue dress on her that they got by exchanging the huge pink dress with a friend. Hope the friend doesn’t watch this show or she’ll know what a mess that “custom” dress really was.
Great way to start the day.
“I’m happy,” Kendyl says. Well halleluiah! I’m sure that won’t last long.
Jozy looks like the hot mess she is when she tells us she’s going to win today. No you’re not. She is throwing a fit about having her makeup done and she keeps squinting, and tells the makeup artist not to be messy. Makeup gal should have poked her in the eye with the brush.
Kind of matches the kid.
Alanna is slamming down Pixie Stix to “help Sasha Fierce come out onstage.”
Crack is whack, y’all.
Yolanda decides to use the white semi-glitzed dress for beauty and I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but it’s not a full cupcake dress, it is like a little miniskirt in the front with the cupcake around it. If I remember correctly, this was a huge no-no in a previous pageant and actually resulted in points off.
And I really should consider leaving the house more often.
The emcee for the event we’ve seen before and she’s really pretty and enthusiastic. Way to play to the camera!
When do I get my OWN reality show?
So…first up is Kendyl who goes onstage with Jessica. Matt is so excited and is jumping around like a crazy pageant dad. He rules. Jessica bounces Kendyl and tells her to blow kisses and she sort of does.
Proof she CAN be in a good mood.
The most charming thing is when they edit back to Matt who has tears in his eyes! Awww, what an awesome dad this guy is, he is just fantastic. “Kendyl is a force to be reckoned with,” he says. Well, she certainly slaps that way.
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