The upside is they don’t mention the skirt issue, but Judge Sherri says she looked stiff with a forced smile. Wah-wah.
Next up is Derby Wear! The emcee continues to talk to the camera instead of the audience. Michael hopes their personalities show that they are real and not robots. Don’t be dissing on the humanly challenged, Michael.
Since it’s the end of the day, Kendyl is ready for a nap so she should be extra happy. Kendyl walks out and as soon as her mother holds her up, she does that boneless chicken ranch thing kids do when they just don’t want to do anything…she keeps slumping down despite Jessica’s coaching of “shake your butt” and “do you want money?” Matt does his best to get Kendyl’s attention but damn, kid is just 18 months and she needs some beauty rest. Actually, she needs a personality nap, but either way kid needs some sleepy time.
The moment Kendyl loses her will to live.
Judge Chastity likes Kendyl but says she can’t give good points when the personality sucks. Except she says it nicely.
Jozy is being a huge pain in the ass as her dad tells us her Barbies commit suicide a lot. “They fall off a lot of cliffs,” he tells us as Jozy shoves the dolls fall off the table where she’s playing. Charlotte continues her denial by saying Jozy really has this pageant. Uh-huh.
But mommy likes! Clueless is a great state of mind.
Jozy gets onstage, has no energy, the dress seemed like something you’d wear to church and not a pageant, and the hat covers up most of her face. Judges no likey.
Yet another great look from Jozy.
Alanna continues to slam Pixie Stix and Yolanda says she’d go through an entire bag if she let her. Bye, teeth! Thanks for the short time you were with us.
Alanna gets onstage and her outfit is…okay, I love the color, but it seems very juvenile for her. It reminds me of something a baby would have on – a short dress with bloomers over the diaper. It is very Little Bo Peep and I didn’t think this was age-appropriate or Derby-appropriate at all. What the hell was Yolanda thinking when she put this ensemble together?
Love the color, hate the pantaloooooons.
Judges are too nice…Kendyl was fine, Jozy made no eye contact, Alanna’s smile was forced. Come on, somebody dish!
Ultimate grand supreme is a given…judges love it when they can’t see your facials!
CROWNING! Matt says he’s nervous. He says Kendyl has it in the bag but sometime the judges just pull shit out of their ass (isn’t that where it usually comes from?). He tells us about a situation two pageants ago, where Kendyl kicked ass but a little girl who had on black sandals – BLACK SANDALS – with no socks – NO SOCKS! – beat Kendyl. The fact that Matt knows this is hilarious. “I’m confident, but anything can happen.” This guy is just too funny.
Black sandals and no socks! Bitch, please.
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