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Tuesday, May 22, 2012
11:13 am
92 Comments
Lacey is still freaking out and asks – ASKS – for some candy. Who raised these kids, good parents? Yeesh. Lacey interviews that Sour Patch kids make her feel better then she yaaaawwwnnnnsss this great, big yawn while holding a Snoopy dog next to her head like she needs a nappy nap. This kid is AWESOME and it’s about to get double-AWESOME.
I feel this way too, usually while at work.
Quinoa and Marquita continue to fight over whose routine is going to be the best. ZZZZZZ.
Mackenzie is up first and she dances around and Crystal does the routine with her, and apparently Mackenzie has had it, because she says so we can all hear, “Mommy, don’t do that.” But Crystal continues to do the routine and Mac has an attack and continues to say, “Mom, don’t do it!” and she kind of stalls on the routine because she’s getting ticked. So Crystal finally stops and the Mac gets back to the routine. Crystal says she was shocked because Mackenzie had never done that before. Well, she only told you like a hundred times not to do it, so you have to expect that by the end of the day, she’s going to have a meltdown. She’s like a person that way.
Busted!
One judge says that she did deduct points for Mac telling her mother to stop because it was distracting. Wah-wahhh. But Crystal knows it will affect the scores and she’s totally calm and professional about it.
Voodoo Princess is up next! Lacey gets onstage and does a super-cool voodoo dance while Kerry continues to look like she hasn’t taken a crap in like 3 weeks. Lacey grabs some powder from her pocket and blows it all over the place – what a waste of Colombian gold! It is amazing and one of the judges says Lacey really lights the place up. Well, all that blow probably didn’t hurt either.
Who gets to vacuum up the uncut Bolivian? Because I’d like to volunteer!
“I did excellent and I almost…fainted,” she says, putting her hand up to her head dramatically, “Ahhh….” Hee, this kid need her own show more than Eden Wood. And her costume is really cool.
Oh, the demands of being kick-ass.
Ana is up next and she really looks pissed for some reason. She must be sick of her relatives too. She does her Michael Jackson routine and it’s really good. She will probably get higher points on this because it looks sharper and she’s facing the judges more. She has a ton of energy and is a really pretty girl. Ana tells us that African was better but Michael will probably score better. Just like he did with little kids, boo-ya! I’ll be here all night!
You should always wait 2 hours after eating to grab your privates.
Judges convene…the thought Mackenzie had great stage presence and confidence, Lacey-Mae wowed them because of her energy and personality, and Ana was very entertaining and she and Lacey scored very closely.
CROWNING! Let’s get this bitch started! Mac’s group is first and if you pull for a higher title, you get a paper passport – another cute idea. She can use that when she goes to the country of Asia!
Passport receivers include Mackenzie! So she pulls for a higher title! YAY! She is so funny onstage when she gets it.
Well duh, who else is cute enough to win?
Next up is Ana and Lacey’s group…this is going to be a tough one. Kerry – SMILE for God’s sake! Passport winners include Ana and Lacey! DOUBLE YAY!
Damn straight!
Pageant Director Chris lies to us and tells us the pageant is sending the winner on a trip “all around the world.” Okay, to me, this means they get tickets to go, you know, all around the world. However, one of the commenters said it was just entry into Epcot. Not even flights there for a family? Hotel while there? Why not just give them the lung cancer that killed Walt? What a crappy gift!
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Can’t read now but I squealed when I saw Lacey-Mae in the main pages picture.
Great recap, Crabby – especially considering they gave you nothing to work with! I really loved all three of these girls and their families – even the McBickersons (cause you could tots tell that was played up for the cameras). Lacey Mae is particularly awesome – if I had that much self confidence I probs wouldn’t be sitting on my wide ass scarfing oatmeal creme pies and Texas margaritas whilst impatiently waiting for Candes or J-Low to show up and tell us how unfaiiirrr we all are.
(PS – Confuced/Canada – I was simply trying to save you from the wrath of J-Low tracking you down via Twitter – no need to treat me like a crazy stalker person. You’re welcome and love you anyhoo)
*confused (margaritas have kicked in)
I’m only on the 2nd page, and just wanted to point out that even with “nothing to work with”, Dear Crabby, you are bringing the funny to this recap! I’ve already lol’ed a few times.
Also, I’d rather watch 3 adorable kids with loving families on this show every week than some of the crazy-ass bitches with devil-children we’ve been subjected too. Especially when I have your recaps to continue pointing out the ridiculousness that still ensues…okay back to reading.
I had to add:
TEAM LACY-MAE, HOLLA!!
Nooo you didn’t post the snarly chihuahua from last week’s ep! Oh, well, great recap anyway!!
Damn it to hell! This is my all time favorite episode and your recap Dear Tabby (sorry but you will now always be Dear Tabby to me) hit all the high points. Lacey Mae “asked” for candy, Crystal did not flip out over the flipper issue and D’Ana was truly happy for the overall winner. Did anyone notice that Marquita’s shirt had the name “Ana” on it? Even she wasn’t wasting money for extra letters to spell her niece’ full name.
Tomorrow night’s episode better have some good old fashion crazy because I, for one very brief moment after this episode, started to think that I may actually like pageants.
Head meet desk. Repeat.
I too found this episode a bit of a snore, but I LOVED Lacey-Mae and Mackenzie, though I was bummed it wasn’t Satan’s spawn and her NiNi! I laughed my arse off when MacKenzie kept telling her mother to stop, she should have got points added for that! Thankfully hubby got me Netflix for Christmas so I can watch 100 snark filled NiNi screaming fat ass pageant moms and creepy judges anytime!!!! Oh please let NiNi be on soon.
DC, as always, your recaps continue to make me snort coca cola through my brains as I laugh at your fabulous take on each show whilst having my daily glass of.
@S-Natch“(PS – Confuced/Canada – I was simply trying to save you from the wrath of J-Low tracking you down via Twitter – no need to treat me like a crazy stalker person. You’re welcome and love you anyhoo)”
Hey girl, I’m really confused and that’s for the save. Crazy stalker person, not sure what’s up.
Love you too
@Dear Crabby, when you said “Quinoa tells us she herself has a “dance background” (making it rain, I’m guessing)” the only thing that popped into my head was the Weather Girls and the It’s Raining Men Song LOL
@S-Natch is the nut case Jo-low-low gunning for this sweet innocent Canadian?
I don’t know how you managed to put so much fun into an epi with so many normal people! Yeesh!
I just about split at that tiny person calling Mom out! Talk about a Mac Attack. Adorbs! Never thought I would think it cute of a child to put a parent in her place. Kill me now.
For once I applaud TLC not giving the Almighty Mouse undue publicity. Hinting was a good thing. Hope the tickets were for more than two peeps, ’cause what one parent is going with one kid? And those hotels cost the earth!
Luv ya DC!
@Canada – talking about the live link during the fray. No worries – must be a miscommunication in the translation between English and Canadian! ;D
Is it just me or was Kenny (current) Father Figure so jacked up on something he couldn’t unclench his teeth while speaking?
S-Natch, girl you crack me up. As for the language well you know some people think Canada is a country but we all know it’s just a city….at least blondie told me so
It’s actually really quiet on here without the nuts, I mean reality whores, I mean moms
Welcome to my world of northern-state (mostly, we do travel some) pageants with cool directors, normal moms, and awesome kids. Snore.
O. M. G.
“This woman is totally grounded in reality. I…don’t know what to do with this.”
I’m on PAGE TWO and Crabby, you have me ROTFLMAO. I mean like really. Nice parents, good kids and decent pageant concepts really have forced you to up your game. I LOVE it!
Hey, an online petition got Betty White on SNL. I say let’s give Lacey-Mae her own show!
Sweet, confident, smart, cute as a button – she really IS the whole package.
La-cey! La-cey! La-cey!
Amendment to my previous comment: Not that there’s anything wrong with your game! I love your game! Okay I feel better, LOL.
Amendment to my previous comment: Not that there’s anything wrong with your game! I love your game! Okay I feel better, LOL.
Oh, and if this repeats I apologize. What’s this “awaiting moderation” shiz all of a sudden? Oh, well.
Am I the only one who saw that picture of Lacey yawning and totally yawned? I went back and looked at it again and can’t stop yawning.
Anyway, great recap! Quinoa and her sister certainly have a command of the English language! Seriously, it be what it be!
I’m gonna hate when this season ends. It’s all we have left!
Adored all the girls! Lacey-Mae does deserve her own show, what confidence this girl has:). Loved her playing and loving on her obviously adored doggie <3. I thought she was beautiful and OMG her eyes are gorgeous. I welled up when she thought she did poorly, I said she needs a Mommy Huggy(what we call them). When she did Voodoo LOVEEED IT and when she did the little blow during her interview. Ana is so talented and I believe her Mom and Auntie played up the competition for television. I agree with Kenny, I have seen those moves in videos. I wasn't a huge fan of the outfit but I let that go since I adore the girl. Ana was so pretty on stage in her beauty wear I wished she went full throttle. She was such a gracious winner, she gained 2 extra points by first stating that Paige deserved the win and by saying she would give her Aunt the 20 if her mom didn't. Mak was a gem, her air guitar/chin hilarious. Her 'pageant dad' was too cute, watching him sashay around the kitchen was too cute. You already know how I feel about flippers and she didn't need it. Way to go Mak, you knew how to perform and didn't need any help. Hopefully, Mom remembers next time. I'm impressed she pulled a title with this being her first glitz(which she rocked) pageant.
Last but not least all of our girls loved performing in pageants. They all put in the work and we were shown no complaints from the little ones.
One more thing, I really appreciated Lacey-Mae family treating her like a 8 year old. When you have a smaller person around you automatically want to pick them up. They had her help unpack the car(heavy looking camera) and she was willing to put forth the effort. Even with her mini-melt down her Mom didn’t (what I would have done) pick her up and baby her. She SPOKE to her and then gave her the huggy when she wanted it. Mom of the Year award goes to Kerry Ann and Mr Kerry Ann has to get something(he HAD to have some input in this awesome child).
I found this episode a little boring….
Mackenzie was the most gorgeous little girl I have ever seen on this show, naturally beautiful without all the pageant crap and she had a nice normal, four year old personality. But the best thing was I could understand her without subtitles…which really is unusual in toddlers and tiaras land where they don’t rate education or development very highly (ain’t that the case Mickie Wood!!)
Lacey- Mae’s mom was sweet, When Lacey said she was upset but the candy makes her feel better, I admit it, I instantly thought future emotional eater. Let’s hope no boy ever breaks her heart!!
Every time I saw dimitri’ana (autocorrect doesn’t even offer me a suggestion for that mess of a name) mom and aunt I couldn’t stop myself from putting on a ghetto voice and saying ” bitch stole my weave”. I just couldn’t help it.
Lacey Mae is super postive, her mom super supportive, what in the world would the reality Gods to with all of that good? Sadly, nothing. Have “Trainwreck” tattooed on you like a tramp stamp… then step right up because we have a show for you. TLC wants to make a “dolla as we holla”, Alana Honey Boo Boo Child gets her own show. Seriously, WTF? I have googled it to death and I can’t find any information on what the show is actually about. Does Alana and June make their special go-go juice and sell it on the pageant black market with their batch of moonshine?
I will tell you the show that I want produced. I want a camera in the face of every crazy, fame whore, delusional, spending freak pageant mom as they are being told that their little ultimate supreme, $3,000 dress wearing, squidley looking, nose picking brat does not get their own show. But a kid that has been in like 2 pageants, wearing an inexpensive dress, with no coach and was THIRD RUNNER UP gets a show.
Yup, that’s the show for me.
Although I love the trainwrecks, I have to admit this episode was like a breath of fresh air. My brain can only try and process so much nonsense before it needs a break. It was like a vacation from the T&T insanity that we normally get. I am now refreshed for the next episode after this palate cleanser.
The girls and the parents are sweet. I live in Connecticut and was shocked that they even have pageants here lol. Makes me glad I live in New England. Mak was adorable, Daisy soooo lovable and Ana beautiful, smart AND polite.
TLC must have scoured the country to find 3 normal people for one episode. I guess we will have to double up on the crazy this week.
I am laughing my a$$ off reading this! And yes, Dear Crabby, you did make a good pageant recommendation! Like I said in the mini-cap comments, you’ve learned a lot recapping this show. I’m pretty sure you could be some kind of pageant consultant.
And what the hell does Father Figure mean? Who is he? If he’s the mom’s bf, then why didn’t they just say that?
“She gets worried when Lacey lines up with the other kids and she’s so much more petite than they are, and worries they will say something rude to her. Why, is Alaska here?”—-OMG, Crabby you kill me!!!!! Nailed that one on the head! Since there is nothing to be snarky about with the kids on the show, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes!!
I would actually be a little stressed with one of the girls competiting up against Lacey
Need to find us a pageant up East!
@Jazzy, I believe ‘Father figure’ means he is there(playing his part) and her biological father is not. I’m hoping that it also means he isn’t a NEW boyfriend but someone who has been the strong male role model for most of her life.
I have to say this again,all these girls were GORGEOUS. I serious don’t remember a time I couldn’t snark on SOMETHING(my adoration of the 3 prevents it). I can’t even go crazy on Ana’s mom’s grammar skills, her daughter’s skills and point blank OMG(when she is made-up) beauty took away that ability.
I must add I agree DC, if Lacey-Mae had been in the Down South pageants they would have torn it everything!
I loved Mackenzie teaching her dad pageant moves. I love seeing dads doing “girly” things with their daughters. I’m not sure why, I guess because its funny how awkward they look.
I think D’whatever’s father figure is either her mom’s boyfriend, friend, or maybe just another family member. Whoever he is the Ludacris comment was hilarious and at least he’s trying to keep her off her the pole.
DearCrabby deserves 2 snaps, 4 headbobs, and an MMMM-HMMMM, for this awesome recap. Well Done!
Cuteness is not Crabby Kryptonite so TLC needs to knock this nicey-nicey shit off!
All will be forgiven if they bring back Baylen and her Rockaaay. That kid was squidalicious!
Random question for Beth if she’s reading . . . tonight I watched an episode that aired in December. It was the one with chooky and crazy mom Kelly. It was from Michigan. There were two girls on stage with Cadence and one was Isabella and the other one Gabi (can’t remember how it was spelled). The girl looked familiar but I wasn’t sure if it was your daughter.
@Ashley I was actually refreshing comments before I go to bed and saw yours. Yes, that was Gabby in that epidode. It was filmed February of ’11 in Michigan. It’s funny because I didn’t even notice crazy Kelly throwing that fit, but my husband said he did
Thanks for the reply Beth. I thought she looked beautiful in that episode. In her featured episode something about the color dress or lighting or makeup seemed off to me during beauty. I sort of remember thinking everything looked too blended, not that that makes much sense. But in the December episode she looked absolutely gorgeous. She also looked younger though. Was the December episode shot long before the featured episode?
I guess you should count yourself lucky for missing the Kelly meltdown. That was just plain embarrassing. Sometimes you get the sense that the pageants or TLC is trying to start drama (like on your show with the director, you and Alaska’s mom) but on the December show you just can feel that that drama started because that mom was out and out crazy.
Beth– it was so nice hanging out with you and “snarkling, baby!” this weekend. Gabby and Zoe looked awesome. Congrats to both girls on their wins!
@Ashley & @Beth I was just watching that episode yesterday, Gabby was in a lot of shots in the audience and on stage etc.
While I was a roll watching other old episodes yesterday, I saw the halloween episode with crazy Pentecostal step mama and there was a lot of shots with Alexeseseses in the background. And at crowning the spawn of candy ass was screaming that she was scared and running off the stage like a crab….there really is something off about that kid. She is no Mackenzie that is for sure!!
Hate to break it to you folks, but this is what pageants are usually like. The freaks you normally see on the show are just looking for 15 minutes of fame. They do most of what the producers ask them to do. “Give me good TV” is what they are told. Half of the interview responses are cut and edited to different questions asked. They tape 16 hours a day and THEN ask the toddler to practice after she has little time to eat or nap. They create these situations for…. RATINGS.
Seems to work, we all watch and cringe.
Your recap was hysterical considering you had nothing to work with. These families were all great and fun to watch even without the drama and nonsense.
Don’t get used to it though, because of recaps written like yours stressing how positive and somewhat dull it was the crazy people will be back.
Okay Ladies, how do we get Lacey-Mae her own show? I can’t believe they are going to give that hill-billy rifraf kid her own show. No offense to anyone from the hills.
Crabby, this is genius! Memo to self: don’t read Crabby’s caps on the bus anymore since I can’t hide the snorts of laughter and therefore look super cray-cray. Now I’m hungry. Where’s the marinara sauce?
“This woman is totally grounded in reality. I…don’t know what to do with this.” LOL! I’m imagining your fertile and creative brain spazzing and giving you a “does not compute” message.
Great recap! It’s actually kind of nice to read about sweet kids and good families, but (aside from the tiny bit of crazy in Ana’s family) they were almost TOO sweet, certainly not a lot of material to lampoon. Better luck next ep!
Oh PULEEZE! Lacey with her own show? Get real, not reality. In Closet’s immortal words, “Have(ing) ‘Trainwreck’ tattooed on you like a tramp stamp” is the primary criterion for a reality stahhhh. What recap scored the record number of responses? Not one discussing anybody or anything normal, that’s for sure. Sadly, Boo Boo Chile will no doubt be a rousing success, and I weep for our culture.
Pass the popcorn.
You know its a normal show when there are only 41 comments and the recap has been up almost 24 hours.
Can you create crazy where crazy does not already exist? Tiffany, I am going to use what you just wrote because you spelled it out so well.
“They do most of what the producers ask them to do. “Give me good TV” is what they are told. Half of the interview responses are cut and edited to different questions asked. They tape 16 hours a day and THEN ask the toddler to practice after she has little time to eat or nap.”
With that thought in mind, does TLC producers throw us a curve ball every so often. This episode being said curve ball. Did they choose not to slice and dice the interviews? Were the parents and girls given many breaks and fed healthy food during those breaks. Did the producers do everything possible to portray these 3 particular families in the best light possible?
Were the families that we refer to as crazy actually normal and were subjected to the extreme conditions that Tiffany referenced therefore making them appear crazy?
Or were this episodes families subjected to the same extreme conditions BUT did not look crazy because in fact they aren’t?
OK, SC, you’re right, the train wrecks are better for the ratings. After Eden’s World I’m not sure the public can take much more but you never know
“Were the families that we refer to as crazy actually normal and were subjected to the extreme conditions that Tiffany referenced therefore making them appear crazy?
Or were this episodes families subjected to the same extreme conditions BUT did not look crazy because in fact they aren’t?”
Two words: J-Ho and Candyass.
@Snowshoecat…there is no way in hell J-Ho was or is normal. That woman is just F’n nuts
They actually made j-ho look more normal than she turned out to be, if you ask me.
Candyass alert!
Yes, Gran, it is amazing that the show didn’t give J-Ho her due. She acted pretty, well, almost normal on the show. The child was the horrible one. Here is where the harridan showed her true colors.
Canada, I suggest you look at last year’s episode to find Candyass. Oh my. She wasn’t as foul as J-Ho, but … her rants speak for themselves. I used the two women as examples when Closet asked (rhetorically) if it were true that child and parental misbehavior could be due to mistreatment by the producers. From the two examples it seems that Tiffany’s assertion that bad behavior is a result of trickery. It may be, but those two examples say otherwise.
Just for you I tracked down the episode, and received quite a surprise! Candice and daughter Alexes competed against none other than— ready?—- Tricia and Sammi-Jo! We meet the lovely Candyass at #113. All Gasmii might enjoy a little trip down memory lane. I did.
OOps http://www.tvgasm.com/recaps/toddlers-tiaras-what%e2%80%99s-left-to-say-oh-a-lot.html there we go.
What about putting Alana AND Lacey-Mae in a show together and they solve crime? We could call it:
Honey Boo-Boo & Lacey!
Or…I’m sensing an updated version of the Odd Couple? No, wait…Lucy & Ethel? Thelma & Boo-Boouise?
The first crime they should solve is how Eden’s E-Team still exists and why Fransolonely is not in jail for crimes against fashion, hair and makeup.
For your snark-i-rific consideration:
https://www.facebook.com/events/376012952437698/
BTW – isn’t the photo of the girl from Eden’s World that they misled to get on the show?
I love that idea! Lacey Mae would be the brains of the outfit and Alana would be the brawn. And if someone REALLY needed their ass handed to them they would call June. She would break their nose and then go into her stockpile and pull out 140 boxes of band aids, 75 rolls of paper towels, 36 bottles of Ajax and 96 bags of cotton balls to clean up the damage.
Holy crap! Two minutes in and all I can think of is Crabby giggling with glee. Thank you TLC for providing the fodder for the recap we’re about to receive. Amen.
OMG, we will be OK this week. Snarks A’hoy!
Only 10:06 pm EST! Trailers, gold teeth, purple and green cabinets, a possessed boy and a pig for a pet. Merry Freaking Christmas Dear Tabby
Oh! I forgot to introduce myself in all my train wreck excitement.
Hi all. I found the ‘gasm a few months ago by looking for a Dance Mom forum. Once I stumbled across this show forum, I’ve never left! I’ve read every entry on this show, front to back, and ALL the comments. I spent 99.999% of that time laughing my ass off, often to the point of tears. To Crabby, Moli, Closet Fan, Beth, Pageant`Grandma, S-natch, ConfusedinCanada and several others I can’t think of at the moment, I’m a big fan.
SO, I decided to the plunge and join the party. I’ll bring jello shots!
SNARKLE BABY!!
Welcome TVKimmy! You had me “Thank you TLC for providing the fodder for the recap we’re about to receive. Amen.”
I actually folded my hands in prayer.
Welcome TVKimmy…hope you love Little Debbies
.
Welcome, Kimmy!! You missed the Jello shot Doucheapalooza party over at Million Dollar Listing, New York, but there’s always room for one more to join us on Walmart runs. Hope you don’t have any degress – all that thar larnin messes with yur mind.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one who came here to comment on the new episode. Seriously? WTF am I watching? TLC has made up for this normal episode in SPADES Crabby! One sentence….A possessed little boy who we’ve seen give himself an exorcism before telling his Nana that she should be working AT THE PONY! What’s The Pony you ask? A mutherfucking strip joint! Enjoy Crabby! ENJOY!
Closet Fan – Thanks for the welcome and spiritual support. I’ve been a loyal member of the Church of Infinite Snark most of my life and always love to preach the gospel.
Moli – Thanks and yes, I have one of their semis deliver enough Oatmeal Creme Pies to feed the country of Africa.
S-Natch – Thanks! They must have sent my invite to the douche I used to be married to. Common mistake. I’ll have to get a gift when we make the next Walmart run. No degress, but I’ll let the fact that I find this recap and you guys funny attest to my smaRtz.
I can’t wait for the recaps. So so much too snark on! But…. ugh… I freaking liked these 3 families… again.
Mmm-Hmmm! I think Christmas came a little early, I watched this entire episode with visions of DC’s recap dancing in my head!
I had suspected that some kids (and momsquids) were possessed, but this was the first time a demon was confirmed. I am guessing that Mommy Drunkest is already reading Exorcism for Dummies so that Eden can add Exorcism to her Shave n’ Tan Saloon/Salon. She can practice on Fransolonely Cutabitch.
Welcome TVKimmy. There’s always room for JELLO. It helps the marinara go down.
@Closet..I didn’t hate the families either! Sad horns! BUT Traven made up for ALL the semi normalcy surrounding him!
I am a nurse and one of my 4yr old clients is a dwarf, she is built just like Lacy-Mae, even walks like her!
Fancyface… I know right! Is this a T & T first? Moms that love their children, likeable children aaannndddd still so much crazy for so many pages of snark. Btw, does anyone know where I can buy some pageant prozac
If anyone is still awake typing work notes like me it is on again!!!!!!!!!
For anyone who wondered, the “Paige” who won the Ultimate in the “so normal it was boring” episode was Paige, of the darling Divas episode (who did pippy longstocking) and whose mom was the “boutique owner” who set Paisley up with the new wardrobe in her latest episode. Yes, the pageant world is a small one.
As for tonight’s episode: Ava-Cate was a doll. I loved her. Samantha rocked, Traven seriously needs to stop looking at the floor, and his mom needs a serious reality check. Traven is cute. He’s got a ton of personality, but I’m pretty sure Michael Jackson never wore a Canadian Tuxedo, and, well, HOW THE HELL DOES YOUR 5 YEAR OLD KNOW what “The Pony” is, and WHY ON EARTH is he suggesting his GRANDMOTHER should work there?!
And dear “Ana’s” mom: a person named Nathaniel is highly unlikely to be a “seamstress”. Just FYI.
I didn’t like the way Traven behaved. It wasn’t cute or funny, it was obnoxious and rude. His mom was going on like he was God’s gift to the pageant world, but I would much rather spend a pageant day with Brock or Braxton.
PG I don’t call the pageant world small, I call it inbred. In case anyone is trying to keep track, IFF is the pageant system started by Michael Booth, the H&M artist who was working on Maddy, the Dolly Parton girl. The Mo. Director designs beautiful pageant wear. Directors also design. Designers also do H&M. H&M people also coach. Coaches direct pageants.
I was trying to figure out if this pageant was glitz, semi glitz or a face pageant, so I went to the site and according to the ppw, the Ultimate Grand Supreme title was a door add on. How conveeeeeenient.
Did anyone else catch what Travon did with his fingers in his mouth in the beginning of the episode?
IFF is a GOOOOFY system. Director of IFF used to direct AFF, with his at-the-time boyfriend, who is now “straight” and married to a woman. he started IFF after, or so I am told. Even so, they can’t hold a candle to Circle City for “Crazy add-on door optionals”.
PG Thanks for reminding me about TD. I forgot Directors who are also photographers who replace the boyfriend doing H&M with the wife who does H&M and coaches. And don’t forget the daughter raised by two pageant dads, the ultimate pageant girl, who’s boobs won $10,000 cash, not a bond, on stage at Universal Royalty.
How RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!! Friends are here from out of town and I couldn’t watch. Ah, what we must sacrifice in the name of friendship. Can’t wait for the next ‘cap DearC!
@TVKimmy welcome aboard the snark train bound for Sparklebabyville
Do you all mean we are back to the usual trainwreck episode? The Pony…at least when I read the comment from fancyface, I thought okay it’s fast food place but a strip joint. I haven’t seen this one yet, but I’m dying to know did they have an exercise pole in the living room or where they just using the stair rails
@Closet Fan, you get the pageant prozac right beside the pixie sticks…it’s what the judges are on…
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It’s pouring rain here and I’m at work but I would rather snark with all of you. Do you think we might get a live one when this new episode goes on mini-recap?
ConfusedinCanada: You will get the pageant prozac reference after you watch the epiosode.
Snowshoecat: Enjoy your visitors. Watch this episode when you can focus. So much snarkable material comes at you fast so it would be easy to miss something if you were not focused, lol.
@Ms. Cool – I saw that and assumed it was something really filthy that a little kid shouldn’t know…but I have to admit, I’m out of the loop on that gesture. I’m guessing something in the oral range, am I correct? It really gave me the creeps…
Ms Cool: I will have to look for it. I watched it twice and missed that both times. But from what you describe, Ewww, maybe I should be glad I missed it.
I’m no expert on lewd gestures but it looks very similar to crap boys would do in high school that suggests oral sex. It wasn’t a turnon in high school and is horribly inappropriate for a young child to know or repeat.
I didn’t see it. I hope DC catches it as posts!
It was foul, whatever it was and the fact the women in his life (mom, grandma, whatever…) laughed just lets you know exactly how respectful of women this kid is going to be. And who the hell taught him that? Yeesh.
I saw it. He had his mouth open and, well, tapping his tongue with three fingers at once. My face was a mask of horror and disgust. I totes agree that it looked like a reference to oral sex and it skeeved me out to no end. I guess there is such a thing as a “born playa.” OR….he’s being exposed to WAY too much for his age. Hmmmm, I think I’ll go with crappy parenting for two hundred, Alex.
Canada– timing is everything, eh? Have to wait for reruns here and cannot WAIT!
Oops. Sorry. That was to Closet. Thank you! They’ll only be here for a few days and go of on their own quite a bit., so I can catch up on some of the snark in the interim.
Holy crap! How in the world did I miss that??? Product of their environment, sad we see that all too often on this show (and in real life)!
I feel sort of bad about saying this but when Traven was doing his “sexy dance,” talking about The Pony, and doing his oral moves at the beginning, I immediately flashed to that guy that has been in the news for having 30 kids with 11 different women. I could just picture Traven starting in about 10 years and I really hate to go there because he was super cute facially even if his actions were trashy.
Do we really think that the seven other boys originally entered in the pageant really dropped out because they heard Traven was coming?
Just finished last night’s show and can’t get past Traven’s mom saying he might be the next president of the US. I’m just going to go out on a limb and say not now, not ever. Surely mom didn’t actually mean “the next” president.
@SnarkySnark:
From your cite:
@J-Nut – I just saw that, too! Whenever I see the name “Velveeta” I think of the movie Idiocracy since one of the news people’s name is Velveeta.
If you haven’t seen the movie, not to worry – you’ve pretty much seen the plot (the world is getting stupider and stupider and basically going to hell in a handbasket) watching the folks on the show. =)