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World Beauty winner is combined World Wear and Beauty…not our girls. Wait, what? That doesn’t sound fair to combine those two. Overall Outfit of Choice winner…Lacey-Mae! YAY! That is so cool that VOODOO won! She was excited because she won MOONNNEEEY! “M-O-N-E-Y!” she says. “I’m stronger than other little girls,” she says, laughing and putting up her arms to show off her triceps.
Overall World Wear Winner…Mackenzie for her bullfighting extravaganza! YAY! Crystal says she wasn’t sure if she’d get anything today because it was her first glitz pageant, so she is pleased. Normal moms, you do nothing for us except raise smart, well-behaved children. We prefer squid and illiterate, foul-mouth cooch mothers!
Grand Supreme 7 and Up…Dimitri’ana! She’s thrilled and wants to buy 500 pieces of candy with her $500. Quinoa headbobs that Ana didn’t win ultimate grand but that’s okay. Headbob.
Now ultimate grand supreme…and the big prize, where “Two tickets are waiting for you at Will-Call,” the emcee says. TO WHERE? We really don’t know except for a couple of commenters who told us about Epcot. Guess TLC didn’t want to give Disney and free advertising.
Some girl named Paige was named Ultimate Grand Supreme with Sugar on Top and Ana says she’s disappointed, but, “Paige did very good and she deserved it.”
WHAT THE HELL, TLC? Quinoa did a nice job raising a good kid too! I swear to God if your network doesn’t get some freakshows on here soon, I’m just going to combine J-Lo the cooch’s episode with Candy-ass’s episode, add a little of Eden Wood’s E-Team and run with it. Then we’ll see how many grammatically challenged illiterate comments we get from those f#ckwits alone!
Okay – there it is on the teensy tiny sign…they get 2 two-day tickets at Disney…doesn’t say Epcot, but that would make sense if it’s all around the world, I think they do that there. The last time I was at Disneyworld, they were building Epcot. If you do the math real quick, you might sprain something.
Crystal says that they will mix up the natural and glitz pageants going forward. She says, “I know they say once you go glitz, you never go back.” Uh, Crystal? That’s not what they say. Just ask Quinoa, Marquita and Father Figure Kenny. Or a black martini!
Ana and her relatives are looking at the scores for each category and it turns out the Michael Jackson routine scored higher. “So my mom owes my aunt $20,” Ana says, adding that if her mom doesn’t pay up, she’ll give Marquita the $20 out of her winnings. Sounds like she knows her mother well, doesn’t it?
Quinoa is pissed because one judge didn’t like the African outfit. She says she doesn’t owe any money since it was just one judge who didn’t like it. Headbob. “The African routine really beat Michael,” she says. And so did Joe Jackson! I told you, I’m here all night!
“One judge just didn’t like it.” Well, if the Michael routine got higher points than the African one, PAY UP.
“It does have feathers and in Africa, that’s what they wore if you watch ‘History,’” she says, actually doing air-quotes on “history.” Headbob because why now? And what’s with the history air quotes?
Lacey says that the ultimate grand supreme won more money and she seems bummed. Then she starts shaking her stuffed puppy back and forth like you are never supposed to shake a baby (or real puppy). It’s kind of funny because it is a stuffed animal.
Kerry Ann interviews that she never would have expected this was where Lacey-Mae would be when they first had her, and she chokes up when she says she can’t wait to see what the future holds for her. Uh, it holds the CEO position at Microsoft, did you not read the beginning of this? Did we not go over how Microsoft need to stop making so many “additions” that you cannot find a damn thing now?