Alana says the reason they call her uncle Poodle is because, “He has a little fruit in his tank.” Well, he doesn’t give off the vibe he’d be the one in the relationship filling the tank, so that makes sense. Then she says, “He has little grapes in his tank.” Well, maybe they will fill out when he goes through puberty.
Alana takes off her boots and socks saying her feet smell like Fritos. The salon owner disagrees and says they smell like BAD Fritos. Ick. Poodle says he’s most excited about having his feet played with.
I will never eat Fritos, Frito Dip, or anything associated with chips again.
And when the nail tech does scrub up his feet, turns out he’s missing a big toe. That is like THE WORST one to be missing – most of your balance in on those first two toes, right? But no nail salon discount for him! Poodle tells us his brother ran his foot over with a lawnmower. Well, it was a good toe while it lasted, I’m sure.
Then Alana farts while sitting in the chair. Must be all the Fritos.
Say it, don’t spray it from your butt!
Deiry has the entire neighborhood over while she practices with Deseray for the pageant. Deseray is going to “turn it on” during her Olympic Wear when she dances then does a back handspring. She’s really amazing but freaks when she’s supposed to do a back handspring. She says she’s afraid to do on the hard floor. Well DUH. But then she feels pressured to do it.
By the way, I totally LOVE being interviewed about MY pageant.
She continues to freak and not do it. Deiry asks her what is going on and that they can work it out, which makes her seem nice, but then her interview shows her true side. She says they are in it to win it, and she’s spending all this money and SHE’S spending all this time… “For me, it’s a lot of work.” Then YOU do the freakin’ back handspring, bitch!
Deiry goes to spot Deseray and it’s clear Deseray is worried she’s about to spend her life being hand-fed and left in her own feces for hours at a time when she breaks her neck on the tiles. She admits that she’s not good under pressure but her mom is. And her mom is good at applying pressure too.
You aren’t going to ruin mommy’s pageant, ARE YOU?
Looking directly into Deseray’s eyes from about 8 inches away, she says, “You’re the only one up there. Mommy can’t do it.” Deseray really needs some space and time to find a new mommy. In her interview, she signs loudly and looks really sad. Because she knows she’s going to need to borrow some grenades from Daddy’s base and she’s going to need a great alibi. I say we band together and be that alibi for her… “Deseray? Yeah, she was out at the bar drinking with the Gasmii, Tonya, Betty, Annette, Mr. Todd…”
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