“We don’t have hairspray?” You could have if you had tried hard enough. Man, I hate this woman for what she’s doing to that kid.
Two perfectionists, one empty bottle of hairspray…discuss.
The frantic search for hairspray reveals a bottle that is pretty empty. Deiry says that is like water to a plant. “You really need hairspray.” Well, you have to admit, she’s a perfect bitch.
Beauty is up first. “Three words to describe Layla are ‘Fun, fun and more fun,’” Angie announces. Yeah, that’s five words. Hey look! It’s Ali, Bitey and The Comma Brow Twins!
And Ali is still shaking that damn kid.
You know, she’s eventually going to disengage Bitey’s head from her body, and that’s going to result in points off.
Now let’s get to the facially beautiful competition.
Alana is super twitchy before getting onstage and she’s not much better when she gets up there. She’s got the dress, the hair and the energy, but her moves aren’t really smooth. And oh no, she’s grinding her flipper and she licks her upper lip. Rut-roh. Judge Pam says she took points off for the teeth grinding. Bet the 3 month old didn’t grind her…gums.
Next up in the same age group is Destiny and she looks cute but damn are her arms stiff. She’s new and I think that’s her issue, but she doesn’t do a terrible job – I think she just needs to smooth things out. “Her ambition is to be a dentist and a singer.” Great, just what everyone needs, getting teeth drilled while hearing “My Heart Will Go On.” Which is kind of the same thing.
This dress is GORGEOUS and I love it!
Judge Shellie says she wasn’t crazy about her hairstyle, “She needs to step that up a bit.” Have YOU seen a mirror? You need to take those steps two at a time.
Really…HER hair is the problem? And don’t get me started on YOUR eyebrows.
Deseray is totally stressing as her mother gets right up in her face and says to make eye contact with the judges and wink and make eye contact and did she mention eye contact? Because I think eye contact is important. Deseray is really being a trooper but I get the feeling she’d really like to vomit.
Then Deiry screams and runs to get the forgotten flipper! Oh, Deiry, if you had ONLY TRIED, you could have been perfect. Who forgets the flippin’ flipper? Thank God, crisis averted, and she slams her fat ass into the elevator and jams the flipper into Deseray’s mouth painfully. That poor kid.
Did you put YOUR teeth in my mouth, mom?
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