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Casey is going to the spa to get a facial and mom is rocking out some huge cross tattoos I would expect to see on metal band members. Casey is also getting a spray-tan because the poor kid has eczema and is kind of splotchy. That would suck, poor kid.
Kelsey is practicing doing Hairspray for her “Star Wear” category and she’s popping out of a large-sized can of hairspray. Jillian says when the pageant coach came up with the idea, she loved her for it because it was cool but also hated her for it because building a hairspray can for a kid to fit into is something Martha Stewart never covered in her many Craft Corner segments.
Jillian says the routine actually involves a costume change and she’s kind of freaking out about it. I would too, because getting kids to do things you want them to do in a timely manner is basically the premise of chaotic Disney movies in the 70s. It just ain’t gonna work.
Now Mia is at her pageant coach’s for some training and you can tell the coach gets so irritated with this kid. Turns out Mia hates practicing for beauty because, “It’s making me crazy!” She says it’s annoying because it’s so slow. So she jerks around and takes big steps and almost falls over.
The coach tells her not to do that and she sing-songy says, “Alright, whatever you say,” and it’s pretty funny. Coach Krisann says if you miss beauty, you’re pretty much done with the pageant because you can’t make up those points.
Mia says it’s so slow and so boring and now she’s tired, and she falls onto the stairs like a Victorian woman with the vapors.
Pageant day in Parsippany, New Jersey, the hotbed of Hollywood talent!
And in keeping with AMC’s Mob Week theme, Wiseguy Matty Guiliano is this week’s emcee.
Pageant Director Jonel is taking this whole thing waaaay to seriously as she says we are going to see kids worthy of the red carpet at this pageant. I’m betting against that. And who the hell is that little girl dressed like a boy supposed to be?