Crystal says some dumbass (she doesn’t say it, that’s my interpretation) lady threatened to leave the hotel because they brought a snake. Well go, then, you moron. In addition, the hotel clerk did not want to check them in because of the snake – he actually walks to the back room and lets someone else check them in. Or maybe he ran back to his mommy’s house where he lives and played video games all night in his basement bedroom. What a bunch of ignorant fools.
Yeah, your fear of snakes isn’t what is keeping you a virgin, dude, but it certainly isn’t helping.
Karley says, “I’m going to have a lot of personality onstage, I just know.” Hee. This kid is adorable.
Mischief, thy name is Karley!
Wait, what the hell? Aly is on the hotel hallway floor, surrounded by feathers and what looks to be candy wrappers, completely asleep. Why isn’t she in her room doing that? That floor must be filthy! Ron picks her up to carry her into the hotel room. That was an odd situation right there. Where was Carl, dammit? Fired, that’s where he should be.
Pre-pageant benders are the worst!
Kelly tells us the girls are completely exhausted (probably from the van) and that Aly is really sick. Oh, man, no. Don’t make her compete, give her Alka-Seltzer cold medicine with a NyQuil back and let her sleep it off.
“We have one baby who is sick and one who is just…not agreeable,” and we see Ron trying to help with the hair and Kelly snapping that he’s going to mess it up. Poor Ron. Then baby lamb says, “Baaaaa.” Even the lamb knows not to touch pageant hair in the making.
Yes, she really wants to be here too.
Chante says she was trying to sleep she kept hearing “Baaaa!” and then she says when she walked out to the hallway this morning, she saw a little sheep, and that’s when she knew what kept her up all night. Because so many animals besides sheep bleat. What the hell did she think it was, a horse?
Fight the power, Buster! And can we get him his own silver teeth, STAT?
Beauty competition first! Gia is throwing a total fit while Kelly is trying to make her up.
Yes, more fun!
Kelly admits she liked playing with dolls growing up so now she has two real dolls to do this with…except these dolls hate every minute of it. Gia could not be more squirmy and I ask again, where is the fun in this for the parents? I don’t understand why they’d put themselves through this.
Pick me! Pick MEEEE!
Aly is up first and the pageant director says her name “AlycesaundRIA” instead of “AlycesaundRA.” Kelly snots, “Say my damn kid’s name right. For $400 you can’t get the name right?” Damn kid? Well, you said it. Also, you paid $400 to win $250? And double-also? How about spelling her name a little less like a Harlequin romance and more like you know, Carol.
Still hating, I see.
Aly gets onstage in her pretty yellow dress and does okay. For a kid who is sick, she pulled it together, but she didn’t smile a lot. She did her routine, but I don’t think she was as enthusiastic as she probably is when she’s feeling well. Poor kid.
My sinus infection has settled on the right side of my face now.
Gia gets onstage and bites it like it’s never been bitten. She stands there, pouts and looks like she wishes she were dead. Kelly calls her a “sourpuss” and says, “What the heck happened to my little kid?” Uh, she hates pageants and everything they stand for?I mean, unless she’s supreme-ing at other pageants and we are missing something, this kid really gives off the vibe that she hates this whole thing.
I thought crashing and burning would be louder, but it is eerily silent. Like Carl.