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So she stands there and looks worried. And fearful. And does nothing. NOTHING. Honestly, she is a really pretty little girl – such pretty eyes – but she is hating life right now. You could hear crickets. So Kelly gets onstage with her and tries to direct her, but she does nothing and whines. This poor kid. She’s really less of a brat than just a kid that doesn’t want to be there.
Kelly says she was the prettiest one up there (what about Aly?), “But ZERO personality.” Again, poor kid. Get her a science book and a glass of milk, Kelly, she’ll be fine. And a lot happier, I’m guessing.
They get offstage and Kelly is all up in Gia’s grill… “What WAS that? What was THAT?” Uh, she hates pageants. That’s what that was. “Can you say terrible?” Kelly asks. Only if it’s followed by the word “mother” right now.
“She didn’t try,” Kelly says. Really? Because earlier you said that at four years old, they should know to do their best if you buy them an $8,000 dress…I knew that would come back to bite you in the arse.
Next up, Kali. And she kicks ass! She looks beautiful in her yellow dress, her confidence is amazing and she has a ton of personality. She does a fantastic job and I’m sort of surprised she hasn’t been supreme-ing in pageants. She is great. I guess they could add more hair. I wonder if the teeth are an issue? No one mentions it, so maybe not.
Karley is slamming Pixie Stix and gets a little crazy, but she kicks ass onstage too. I thought her hair was too short – very Shirley Temple – and I was worried she’d get points off. But her dress is my favorite fuchsia and she is enthusiastic and has a great energy onstage.
Pet time…this is going to be a hot mess if we’ve ever seen one, and we’re seeing a few big messes left by the lamb all over the hotel room and bed. Enjoy your day today, housekeeping staff.
Kelly says worst case scenario, it will suck like beauty did. Then she sees Aly walking the lamb down the hallway…with Aly chasing it and basically jumping on it to stop it. That poor lamb is probably shitting itself silly it’s so scared. This is just awful! Who thought this pageant up?
Kelly interviews that there is a problem with the lamb – when they were leaving, they grabbed the wrong one! So they brought a total amateur lamb instead of the one they practiced with. Sucks to be you.
Gia is pissy because she doesn’t want to take Tom the Turkey, she wants to take Faux Butterball onstage. So they decide to let dad take the turkey onstage (good move) and Kelly comforts Gia by telling her she can hold the lamb on the way home. This seems sweet until your realize that Kelly probably just doesn’t want to hold the damn thing for another 13 hours. Again, poor lamb!
Pageant Director Joy announces that there are some “exotic” pets there, so if you have a delicate child (my words, not hers), you may want to step out of the room while the pet is onstage so the kid doesn’t freak or get PTSD from an animal. And my guess is, she’s talking about Slither.