Chloe keeps telling him not to say anything, so he says it’s naptime, which is the kid equivalent to telling a woman she must be PMSing. Chloe throws a fit and says she doesn’t need a nap. Yeah, ya do. She hides in the arms of the man of the house, Granny Lana.
Now Christian is up and he admits to us he has no idea what Motown is. Because pageants are actually for the parents. Music begins and Christian moves like he has to pee. He tries to moonwalk and can’t, then he looks confused and stops, it’s totally obvious and Loni says that although he tripped up in one part because she didn’t make him practice enough, he was great onstage. She must have been watching another pageant.
Feel the White Guy Rhythm™ !
Now Jayla is up and she says she’s going to be a “glitzy boy,” but she’s not in a boy mood because she’s not a boy. Exhausting! She gets onstage and although I don’t care totally for the outfit she kicks ASS! She is very cute, lots of energy and damn!Kid knows her routine! Judge Carina called her the whole package. Well, hand her the crown and let’s go drink.
Looks like the rhythm finally DID get someone!
Mackenzie is up next and she has a lot of energy but her routine really should be more spot-on for her age. Judge Kelli says Mac was having fun which she appreciated and scored on, despite the fact that it doesn’t really fall into…THE NEW RULES. Which she never mentions.
Looks like someone’s herky went jerky!
Judges judge…they liked Chloe in beauty but she’s out in talent; Christian was good at modeling; Jayla was cute and had fun but she needs to work on beauty because she faded, and Mac did well in talent because of the energy but her modeling was too stiff and wasn’t herself. Office Max judge stays creepily quiet through the whole thing.
However, Match.com never put these two together…imagine that!
CROWNING! Loni and her husband interview that their kids are going home with the ultimate grand win. Uh-huh.
The two losers? Right here!
Jamesia says that today might be a little sad for some people, but not for Jayla. Wow, how does your ego fit into your car on the way to the pageant, bitch? Also, WHICH hairstyle is getting her there? Not the one you chose.
Oh no, they have the ultimate grand supremes, king and queens, but also “future kings and queens” which means you aren’t even good enough to be a runner up…oy.
Boys are up first…first runner up…Christian! Loni is surprised. “Honestly I don’t know what happened, maybe they wanted a taller kid.” Or a more talented, better-looking one.
Sucks to be you, loooosah! Next time, don’t brag so much to your sister, dude.
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