Loni says she doesn’t want to blow their skin off, then she laughs and laughs. She’s kind of an idiot, isn’t she? As if the stomach-kicking incident wasn’t enough to tell us that.
Is Loni trying to put a fire out? Very safe.
Chloe is meeting with someone from the performing arts center who is going to teach her a routine. Lana tells us that this is Chloe’s first time competing in talent, so you know it’s going to be awful. The routine is a little complex for a three year old and unless granny learns it, Chloe is going to be chloe-less onstage.
You can actually hear her circling the drain, and it’s early in the show.
Granny Lana says that the pageants are “learn as you go,” (not really if you watch this show) and it is foreign to her. Lana, there is this great new thing the kids are using called Google. I’m willing to bet you could find a Pageants for Dummies page on there (you can)…it’s right before the Pageants for Fax Machines in the alphabet.
Lana tells the “coach” that Chloe needs to know what to do when the music stops. How about just getting off the stage? Coach says that she should have an ending pose, then walk off stage. Lana says, “I don’t know what an ending pose is.” Which word didn’t you understand? Looks like the fax machine doesn’t fall far from the copier.
Chloe says she loves to dance, she jiggles all around, then screams, “MOTOWN!” This is not going to end well and I fear she will lose her place as the alpha female in her clan.
Amanda with her dead soul says, “I feel like we are prepared and ready for the pageant.” She sighs and out comes, “Yay,” except with the sigh it sounds like, “Hhhyaay,” and she walks off camera. Somewhere hidden in her basement is a jug of chardonnay with her name written all over it.
I smile for the camera, but truly I am dead inside.
Jayla is practicing her beauty walk and it’s kind of stiff. Jamesia says she’s worried about the walk because she’s in a new age group and the bouncing and blowing kisses she did as a little girl doesn’t really work now.
“You act like you don’t know what you’re really doing,” Jamesia snots to Jayla, to which Jayla responds that no, she doesn’t know. Gee, seems like someone should TEACH her. Instead, Jamesia tells her to get it together and that she doesn’t act like she wants to win the thousand dollars. Jayla tries again and Jamesia is like, “That was horrible.” Jayla storms to her room and goes face-down into her pillow while Jamesia yells she hopes Jayla learns how to get it together. You know what might help her get it together? IF SOMEONE TOLD HER WHAT TO DO.
The way most of her practices end.
Pages: 1 2 3 4 5
6 7 8 9 10 11 12