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OH.MY.GOD! Can we PLEASE get rid of the “Just sayin’” phrase? There is nothing more teenage-snotty than that stupid phrase. It’s the 2012 version of “So there!” I’m going to start a Superpac to stamp it out.
Over in Center, Texas, where Tonya usually has her pageants (or so it seems), we see two kids about to become quadriplegics by tearing around in a mini ATV. Jasmine, 10, is driving, then interviews she’s going to, “Blow up the stage like a diva bomb explosion.” I immediately hated her.
Mom Tiffanie says Jasmine is going to win the ultimate grand supreme. Yeah, and I’m going to win America’s Next Top Model!
Aunt Denetra is Jasmine’s pageant coach and she is really pretty – very polished, as is Tiffanie. I get the feeling both of these women are very successful, they just have that kind of confidence and probably the ability to diagram the sentences they speak. Nice change of pace from most pageant moms.
Denetra tells us Jasmine has been doing pageants for a year and she always wins a higher title…although as one Gasmii commenter pointed out, they are all kind of small crowns. So diva bomb that!
Denetra says she and Tiffanie both competed in pageants and they want to instill those values into Jasmine. How about instilling some manners and a smaller ego? She’s kind of full of herself and that has to be coming from both of you.
“I definitely love me. I think I love me more than anybody else loves me,” she says. That is so ironic, because I HATE you, I HATE you more than anybody else HATES you, but I’m willing to hear how much hatred the commenters have. We’re family that way.
“If they had an award (reward?) for awesome, I would win it every time,” Jasmine says. What about an award for humility? Because I’m thinking that’s going to someone else.
And finally, in Wright City, Oklahoma, we meet Asian-inspired Amiya, 6, who plans to be the Mardi Gras queen. Mom Laura put Amiya into pageants because she was shy and she wanted her to break out of her shell. Well, mission freakin’ accomplished, because now she’s dancing on a cop car in a slutty cop outfit! Yay for equality of the sexes!
Laura says they’ve had some negative feedback about the costume and the dancing, but, “We don’t compete to lose!” Just like pedophiles don’t stalk to not molest your children.