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Back with Jasmine, Tiffanie and Denetra are pissing and moaning about a glitz dress that “Miss Randi” made that as Denetra says is “glitz garbage.” It’s stiff, scratchy and the zipper is broken, which sounds more like a Miss Muffet creation. And they spent $1600 on it, so maybe Ali is right – the uglier the girl, the more expensive the dress, because Jasmine is FUUUUGLY, mostly on the inside.
Jasmine complains that wearing a beauty dress is hard, especially this one because it’s like “Christmas gone bad.” You should know.
Pageant day! Tonya is all about bringing on the bling at the pageant and I have to say, I’m loving the fleur de lis crowns! Those are pretty cool, but you know I am easily distracted by shiny things and George Clooney.
Tonya tells us people have “major money, major time and major investments” in these pageants. “And really, if you think about it, LIFE is a pageant…we’re onstage every moment of our lives!” Tonya, unless it’s 4:20, I’m going to need you to reel it in. Now go get some Doritos and get ready for all of that bling!
Tonya runs through the kids…Amiya is a “naturally beautiful little girl,” leading me to believe that now Tonya needs glasses; Tori is a “firecracker” which is code for bratty little bitch; and Jasmine is, well, a total bitch. Tonya doesn’t say that but you know she’s thinking it. She’ll swear she’s not, but she is.
So Ali tells us that Dane Dane is doing Tori’s hair and makeup, and D-D kind of looks like a clean version of Fransolonely Cutabitch who does Eden’s hair and makeup on Eden’s World as well as at pageants. She hates kids and usually does a terrible job, plus she was really mean to her kid…the upside is that following Eden around means she leaves her own kid ALONE.
We’ve seen Dane Dane before and I get the feeling she thinks she’s all that because of her name. She’s not. I mean, she does an okay job I guess…judging from one commenter, she does a pretty good job most of the time. Just not what we see here.
Dane2 takes one look at Tori’s fall and is like, WTF? I must have missed that the first time around (taking notes, eating or drinking…take your pick). But she does give the hairy eyeball to the fall as Tori interviews that she is NOT excited to have her hair done because it’s hurts and takes too long.