Tori’s hair is a hot mess and the fall looks like it’s being true to its name and it’s falling…Ali says it’s awful, but she doesn’t say anything to Dane2 (at least that we see). It really is half done, half not, but from our commenters it sounds like there could be too much conditioner and it’s just not holding the curl. Or maybe the Asian kid it was taken from was only an A-minus student, who knows.
Yeah, that pretty much sucks.
Laura says she feels like Amiya is an underdog because they don’t have professional hair, makeup or training. Why did you even bother showing up, woman? She asks her husband if he likes Amiya’s makeup like this or like they usually do it, and he answers, “The one on the right,” meaning her eye shadow on the right. Laura has to point out both eyes are done the same way. Enjoy your participation award!
Beauty is pain…and mismatched foundation.
Amiya’s dad says what every dad thinks on pageant day: “Just stay out of their way.” Good idea.
But who the shit would actually buy and wear this shirt?
Amiya’s dress is a little big so Laura is pinning it all over because she never had time to get it fitted. Well, could you have pinned it AT HOME? And then the dress breaks and Laura goes all stressed and tells Amiya she isn’t sure she can go on.
Todd Bailey is today’s emcee and I get the feeling he got the job by sleeping with Tonya. (Unless that’s your brother, not your husband, Tonya, in which case I’m sorry for the incest reference). At least he understands the concept of the microphone and we don’t have to hear him scream into it.
And this lady is pregnant with what clearly is a LITTER of pageant girls.
Beauty is first…one little girl’s favorite food is whatever anyone else is eating…so good luck in school; another little girl’s ambition is to be potty trained, welcome to a recapper’s goal too!
In Jasmine’s room, her mother calls her “babe” and Jasmine whines she’s a girl. You’re actually kind of getting to be a twat.
She. Is. Precious.
Jasmine has a new beauty dress that is a gorgeous blue, and she says, “I can’t breathe and I’m already starting to sweat.” Then take it off and go home where you can be queen of your bedroom. I kind of expect a 10 year old to understand this.
Amiya is still getting her dress fixed and is crying because Laura is stressing and pinning and stressing and pinning and saying the pageant is OVER.
And then we see the commercial for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo and I’m ALL over that! I think that kid is adorable and I am so sorry about what her future clearly holds. Poor kid.