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As ellemenop mentioned in the comments, Chris is more twitchy than anything, and he does a lot of it while raising eyebrows, winking and sucking in his teeth/biggest flipper we’ve ever seen. Then he hisses like a cat! What the hell?
Hailey, 9, is an absolutely beautiful little girl – red hair, blue eyes, freckles – okay, so she’s a ginger, but a really beautiful one. She seems like a really smart kid, too, very alert, and smart enough to know to keep her mouth shut when the cameras are on so she doesn’t look like any of the other toolshed kids who frequent this show.
And speaking of which, Twitchy is clearly the one who is interested in this pageant. He talks about Hailey’s jewelry, makeup, dress and asks here where she’s going to put her sash. He is way too excited about the pageant and clearly Hailey rather be reading a biology book and studying for her MCAT.
What really creeps me out about this father-daughter relationship is that it seems like they don’t really know each other. There’s no chemistry or mutual feeling of love that I can see. It’s like he’s the uncle who shows up once a year at Christmas with cool gifts but then asks to borrow some money to feed his cat. It’s just weird, how they really don’t seem to have even a basic level of comfort with each other.
Twitchy says he decided to enter Hailey in the pageants because she’s shy, and as he moves his mouth to keep his teeth from escaping back to Tom Cruise’s mouth from whence they came, tells us he’s hoping a pageant will help her break out of that. Unfortunately, he doesn’t really supply her with the necessary tools to win a competition except for a purchase of a dress that costs more than most people’s first cars.
Trying to get Hailey to play it up for the cameras, he asks how she’s feeling about the pageant. “I guess fine,” she quietly says. “You don’t seem too stoked about it,” he says, like a comedian dying onstage. Turns out Hailey’s really nervous and Twitchy says that he takes some of the blame for that.
He tells us he’s a single dad and he was married to Hailey’s mom for 7 years. Then he says that he wishes he had more time to be the fun parent, which leads me to believe that maybe he’s Weekday Dad…? He says that his relationship with Hailey is very loving, but we just don’t see it. Also, we need to meet this mom, because I’m sensing something must have been really off about this family. I can’t imagine this guy was married to a woman for 7 years, let alone had sexy with one. That’s just plain icky.