Kymberli says this is her weakest point and she doesn’t know why she deals with all of this. Believe me, the Gasmii ask themselves the same thing every week. But then the dress is on and Katlyn is fine. What the hell is that kid’s problem? She just makes it worse by fighting it. Kids are so stupid sometimes. Then they become stupid adults and eventually end up in the passing lane in front of me, sans the actual passing.
Over at the shop Muzzie’s With an Attitude, Twitchy and Hailey stop by to see Hailey’s stylist, Ephraim. Should’ve gone with a coach instead, tsk, tsk amateurs! They are here to pick up Hailey’s pageant dress, and with this being her first (and perhaps last dress), they really are watching the budget by spending $4000 on a couture dress that is totally not right for a pageant. Also, wouldn’t Twitchy and Ephraim make a great couple? Twitchy smiles and I lose a retina.
Oh, Eve has more than three faces.
Ephraim says, “More is more,” and Twitchy tries to keep his teeth in. He seems nervous. Look, I get that this is Hailey’s first pageant, but this isn’t the first episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. I know I could get a kid ready for a pageant way better than this lemonhead just from watching the damn show. To be this ignorant of what pageants really take – there is just no excuse.
Hailey interviews, “If I had five thousand dollars, I’d save it. I think it’s college you have to pay for, right?” Someone get this kid into Wharton right now, geez Louise!
The dress is really pretty, but it’s not $4000 worth of pretty, I’m not sure how it’s couture outside the price (although he didn’t use “haute” so maybe that’s my challenge) and it is totally wrong for a pageant. It’s very low key on the glitz. Good beading, but too low key. If they hosed it with glue and shot sequins and sparkles at her, maybe.
“I can’t put a price on my daughter’s face when she saw the gown,” Chris tells us, although Hailey’s face could not be less enthused or interested in this whole thing. Again, get her the Little House series of books to read.
Yeah, you can just feel the enthusiasm and excitement behind this face.
Then stupid stylist Ephraim tells her the exact wrong thing to do…he tells her to walk “sweet and calm and controlled” (nice pigeon toes, dude!) “but inside, I need to feel the energy like…” then he hops around like a wounded bunny or something. WORST COACH EVER! Where the hell are pretty feet? Pretty hands? Walking from one X to the other? Eye contact? Man, they are spending a lot of money to fail.
Worst coach ever! But great pogo stick.
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