Twitchy interviews that he’s hoping Hailey can become better at conversations and that’s something he’s working on with her. By not talking to her at all. I mean, have you considered asking her questions? Finding something SHE’S actually interested in and asking her opinion? What about Toastmasters as a last resort? They must have a junior division.
“Tell her about your dress…it will make the time go by quicker,” Twitchy pleads. So instead of talking about how pretty it is, she says, “My dress cost $4000.” Which is exactly what an Asian woman working in a mani/pedi sweatshop wants to hear from a nine year old American. This poor woman is probably a neurosurgeon back in her native country, her medical license just doesn’t translate to America because of the metric system or something.
You stupid Americans deserve to be ruled by the Chinese!
Shumei tells us she never had a dress that cost $4000, probably because they used that money to transport her family of 50 from her native country to the US. “I can buy the car,” she says. And you probably could engineer and build it, too, while here in the U.S. we watch Mama June scratch neck crud from her chinfolds.
Twitchy does give it one final college try. “What are you thinking about Hailey?” “Hm?” she asks. “What are you thinking about?” Twitchy asks again and Hailey answers, “Nothing,” and Twitchy smiles and says, “Completely spiders and cobwebs?” motioning to his head. He’s pissed and hiding it not so well.
Did you just cut one?
“Between wearing the artificial nails and the expensive dress, she’s ready,” he says. Oh, Twitchy, you really don’t watch the show, do you? “She seems excited and I know she’s going to have a wonderful time.” You used a high-powered drill with a Phillips head bit to get this screwed, didn’t you?
Hailey yawns. Twitchy grimaces and checks his chartreuse phone for messages from anyone – including his phone company about his data usage. At least that would have some personality.
Oh crap, back with Ava. Monica says Ava has a five-minute attention span for practicing but I think that’s her being generous. Dumbass Dad Victor says they bribe her with candy and toys. Monica tells us that if Ava wins this pageant she’s getting diamond earrings that are so big you can see them from a mile away. Ironically, you can only see Monica’s brain with a microscope.
Lump of coal coming your way, Ava…only because I’m about to throw it at you!
Ava refuses to practice as Monica says all that she does is transfer money from their savings to their checking account. Clearly, it’s well worth it since Ava is an absolute horror and not very polished. Maybe she’ll pull it together at the pageant. HAHAHAHA, oh, I kill myself sometimes.
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