Time for the snow globe on the driveway at the KKKKKKK’s house. Kymberli has great enthusiasm and I’m sure if she wrapped it in some kind of reality, she’d be a force to be reckoned with. Sadly, she just lives in her own fantasy world.
The family is putting together what I can only call a snow globe of death, and Kymberli has in her mind that this is going to be a big, beautiful snow globe full of dancing snow that Katlyn will emerge from. Unfortunately, not one person in this family has any crafting or building skills, and the snow globe is cardboard and some piping that is probably going to fall over and kill Katlyn or worse, kill Pageant Die-rector Annette. Oh, and yes, the saran wrap outer layer really adds some klass.
Brilliant move…now the whole neighborhood can see how stupid you all are.
Kymberli has this great idea about sending the snow globe to Santa so he can send her a better one back. Like he’s got that kind of time during the holidays. Then Grandma Kelli makes her move: “Lord, go with me right now, Jesus in prayer…Jesus take the wheel…take the whole snow globe.” Because religious people all know that God has nothing better to do than support your needs no matter how pathetic they are compared to disease and starvation and the cancellation of Jersey Shore. “I have faith it will come together eventually,” Kymberli says. Keep faith alive.
Jesus, where the eff are you already?
Keepin’ it weird in Austin with bat guano, we are ready for pageant day! There’s Santa! And Mrs. Claus! And they have 45 contestants in the pageant.
I own you bitches.
What? 45 contestants? Smallest pageant ever. Then Pageant Die-rector Annette shows some true colors by reviewing each of our competitors.
Although sexy librarian really works for Annette, doesn’t it?
Katlyn pulls up – not in a car seat – and Annette says she’s a total firecracker onstage. Hailey is a first-timer so what can you say? Then Ava pulls up and Annette says she’s sweet but “she doesn’t have a lot of personality onstage” but luckily it’s a beauty pageant so hopefully she’ll pull out. HA! I’ve never seen Annette be so honest. But I love the fact that she says Ava sucks balls onstage. Again, really worth spending your family’s savings on!
Monica says Ava woke up in a great mood and is ready for the pageant, all footage to the contrary. While getting her hair done, all Ava does is scream and cry and yell. Yay! Dad says he thinks his wife was hurting her. About damn time.
But is the pageant ready for you, brat?
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