“I don’t like pageants anymore,” Bella tells us. “No pageants!” Her mom (I think) asks her what her favorite part of the pageant is and Bella says, “NO PAGEANTS!”
And now she’s telling her mother to blow pageants out her ASS.
Over in the city of – I kid you not – BALD KNOB, Arkansas, “Where the Ozarks meet the Delta” and where they don’t have any concept of why the words BALD and KNOB together make us all laugh like we’re in junior high sex ed class, we meet our adorable little girl of the episode, Emma Belle.
Stay klassy, Bald Knob.
Emma Belle, 5, giggles like a crazy girl and is nothing but cheerful throughout this whole show. Dammit. As many commenters mentioned, her mom does look older, and she could be but she also gave off that overly-tanned-mother-from-New-Jersey vibe too, so it could just be the tanning. She also reminds me of my parents’ alcoholic neighbor, just without the bitter, angry, resentment and broken facial capillaries.
She’s not posing at the dump, is she?
Mom Angela is very nice, very sweet and she adores her daughter. She also can put a sentence together like most pageant moms cannot. I can see where Emma gets her looks – her mom has the exact same eye coloring and it’s a beautiful blue.
She’s like the anti-Alexes!
As you can tell, this family gives me NOTHING to work with.
Emma is pleasant with her photographer, pleasant with the crew, pleasant, pleasant, pleasant. Angela says she really has “star quality” and this time it’s not bullshit. She’s beautiful and a sweetie.
This kid is in a perpetual state of happy.
Angela says the toughest part of being a pageant mom is the time and energy that goes into the prep. Hey, I’ve got news for you, the toughest part about being a MOM is the same thing! And you seem to have that down pat. “I never sleep,” Angela says. Again, that’s just being a parent. If Crabby Daddy doesn’t talk to me every 12 hours, he thinks I’ve been hijacked.
Actually, yes, it does look like perhaps you could use a nap.
And now comes the icing on our pretty vanilla cake and it is funkadelicious! Over in Hesston, Kansas, we meet mom Amy and her daughter Brooklyn, who “is the queen lioness of the pageant world.”
Then she smooths her hair down and whispers, “Lioness…is that a word? Because Adam knows all these words and he gets so mad at people when they say the wrong words.” So husband Adam knows a lot of words and you worry he’ll get mad at you if you say the wrong one?
If I do this, the aliens and my husband won’t know how stupid I am!
Wait – does anyone have any tinfoil I can fashion into a hat?
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