Toddlers & Tiaras Recap: No Means NO!

38 Comments

1. 1
   jen
   Posted February 2, 2013 at 11:12 pm

   I think Vegas’ parents had a brain fart when naming her. You were supposed to give her a NAME, not name the place you wanted her to work when she grew up.

   Amy made me laugh at her cyclical talking. She seemed so out of it yet I think if she had a kid screaming no like Bella she might actually listen.

   Emma Belle was adorable. I want a kid like her growing up.

2. 2
   georgiababe
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 2:29 am

   True story: when I was 6 years old I did a rhythmic gymnastics routine to “Bananaphone” by Raffi. It was awesome. I loved Bella’s costume because of that, it was so adorable.

   Amy was so bizarre. Does she have something? Like a social disorder?

   I realized as I was reading that I know someone like Amy. I mean honestly, I do. She even LOOKS like Amy. And she (let’s call her Hailey) has NO social skills at all. She’s like a deer in the headlights all the time and she gets distracted every 3 sentences. She and Amy should get together.

   I felt so bad for little Emma when she couldn’t have her skirt the way she wanted but I was honestly surprised that her mom didn’t seem to have a sewing kit with her or anything. I mean, sewing a snap on takes less than a minute, surely they could have at least tried…

3. 3
   Jarrodsmom
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:27 am

   Awesome recap..as usual!

4. 4
   Aunty Poopypants
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:38 am

   Thank you Crabby for another fab recap of this trainwreck of a show. Vegas is not a name for a human being. Were they naming her after the place where she was conceived or something? What is wrong with parents these days?

5. 5
   ellemenop
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:47 am

   i’m so glad a violent reaction wasn’t exclusively mine when bella’s mom made the stupid “bella’s world” comment. i guess it’s a good thing gasmii don’t visit the filming locations.

   if you hadn’t pointed out how much amy and adam seemed like strangers, i never would have noticed, as i was too busy waiting for the next gem to fall out of amy’s mouth (this doing two things at once thing, my husband knows how to do it pretty well, but i don’t, and he gets mad at me when he sees that i can’t, so don’t tell him). that said, your captions and descriptions of their interactions totally cracked me up.

   even though everything about bella suuuuuuucked (SUCKED!!!), i did like the banana phone idea. that was cute. i just wish a cute kid had been the one doing it.

6. 6
   Aunty Poopypants
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:51 am

   Just noticed the tags. They are just HILARIOUS!

7. 7
   rollingeyes
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 7:36 am

   I don’t think Bella’s outfit of choice was for the banana phone costume, because that was Safari wear. Were any posters at the pageant and can clarify?

   I don’t know if it was mentioned on the minicap or another forum I was on, but someone thought that Emma’s hair was dyed. When you look at the pictures here, it’s clear that her hair is natural and mom’s is dyed. Really cute kid, she is.

   I don’t understand how Brooklyn beat Emma (unless I’m wrong in thinking mini supreme is higher than personality supreme).

   I hope Bella’s mom sees this episode and realizes what an ass she is.

8. 8
   TVKimmy
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 7:59 am

   I’m commenting for two reasons.

   1. Fabby recap, as always! Your T&T recaps are how I found TVGasm in the first place and they never disappoint. I love them so much that I’ve gone back and have read each of them from the start.

   2. My captcha was an ode to Amy: “Which One Is A Real Word?” !!!! My captcha needs to ask Adam!

9. 9
   snowshoecat
   Posted February 3, 2013 at 9:14 am

   CrabbyDearest, you don’t even like kids and you have more compassion for them than the Delusionistas who spawned them.

   Sad to say that the picture of “No Pageants” Bella Signing makes her look like Shahs’ GG.

   That ain’t good.

10. 10
    Frizzypop
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 9:51 am

    Great recap!

    I’m still trying to figure out how that homemade POS monkey outfit got Supreme Outfit of Choice!? It was cheap and stupid looking to me. I guess maybe the pageant director wanted to give her a high title since the show was following her so they pulled that out of thin air to give her something? Who knows?

    I still think Emma was strikingly beautiful!!

11. 11
    ConfusedinCanada
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Did I see Ava with her “big” hair mom there briefly. I swore I did.

    Ok, I’m a Canadian and not familar with US marriage laws but is Kansas a state that allows siblings and cousins to inter marry a bunch of times? That might explain Amy and the door knob husband.

    DC wonderful recap as always, I actually got to watch it before I read the full recap and as for the first girl, when she came out we were like Hell No, I didn’t know 33 years could compete in this. It really is time to hang up the leggings girlfriend.

12. 12
    Pat Ledoux
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 12:34 pm

    Oh Crabby as always you reign supreme. You can make me laugh like no one else!

    I continue to be amazed by the dumbass mothers who say they’ll stop pageants when the child wants to…..yet the child is SCREAMING it and she turns a deaf ear….just unfuckingbelieveable.

    Just a side note, my daughter had the same blonde hair as Emma when she was little, now more dirty blonde, but it’s all real. I noted last night in the minicap that I think Emma looks like a young Lydia Cornell, and wondered if anyone remembers who she is? I actually think she is prettier without makeup, just my 2 cents.

13. 13
    LadyStardust
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 1:00 pm

    I loved that Emma used her real hair…to me, that is so much cuter than a fake pile of curls on their head. I agree with whoever said on the minicap (I think) about why the glitz style never seems to update with the times. I remember the pictures from the JonBenet Ramsey case in the mid 90s and her glitz wear was exactly the same!

    I don’t think her hair was dyed either. I had a kid in my class in school who had white blonde hair and he’s in his mid-20s and it’s still that color. My husband and his two siblings also had hair that color as kids, but all of theirs darkened eventually.

    Thanks for the awesome recap as usual!

14. 14
    crockpot
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 1:08 pm

    @Pat ………I remember Lydia Cornell from my teen years. If I recall correctly she made appearances on the 70/80′s hit shows i.e. Charles Angels -Love Boat- and others. Didn’t watch the shows but big brother had her poster up on his wall along with Farrah, Heather, & others. Natural blonde hair / blue eyed babe. Is she still working? will have to google her.

    Emma is just that classic natural beauty of California genes (even if her folks aren’t from CA). Think Emma & her family are not using the dye or tanning just a lucky bunch if one likes that look.

    As level headed & normal as her mother seemed I hope she pushes school as Emma could turn out to be a huge success in the lotto of life with her looks & personality if they give her the background.

    Crabby – great recap!!!

15. 15
    MyPokeyFace
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 1:16 pm

    I feel for Amy. I’m an intelligent person, but when I have to speak around a bunch of people I don’t know I kind of freeze up and the wrong words always come out. I’m fairly certain it comes from anxiety at being out of my comfort zone, but let me assure you that it can result in hilarity. It’s super common for me to say something that sounds entirely different than what I meant to say. Luckily my friends and family are used to it and don’t shame me for it, but I swear I get hives sometimes just thinking about having to speak to people I don’t know. Strangely, I’m a children’s librarian who has to talk and read to people constantly, but if I know everyone it isn’t as bad. I’m hoping she has something like this and really isn’t that stupid.

16. 16
    sagittariuskim
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 3:39 pm

    Emma Belle was adorable! Definitely one of the top 10 cutest kids we’ve seen on this show. Somebody needs to give her mom some 5 hour energy though. Hmmm, I’m surprised when you haven’t seen pageant parents mixing that into “Go Go” juice yet.

    I know someone like Amy too. She’s not as bad as Amy but has that ditzy blonde thing happening too.
    I’m guessing Amy and Adam’s marriage wasn’t a love match. Maybe it was a mutual interest match, she wanted money and he had it. And he wanted a trophy wife. Or maybe they were just nervous with camera crew there. Oh well, there’s the chance some friend or relative will come call us horrible people, and tell us what a picture perfect marriage they have.

17. 17
    Ssarrrrah
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 4:31 pm

    Why on Earth did the prettiest girl at the pageant win the supreme **personality** award? I thought that title was usually reserved was for the less \facially gifted\ contestants. Hmmm? That outcome was SO WEIRD and it makes me think that this pageant was totally rigged. My guess is that someone really didn’t like Emma being there and wanted to give her and her family a big eff you.

    On some of these supreme titles that make no sense (ahem, cough Bella):
    These pageants are not a straight up competition. Real money and big egos are involved. Girls whose mothers make it their business to be buddies with the pageant staff and all the other obsessed moms, show up at every pageant in the region, buy into all the optional competitions, spend a ton of money on clothes and props, and use the local tanning, hair & makeup people — but aren’t necessarily the most confident, the best performers, or the most beautiful — often win big titles over a gorgeous, talented, (ie: threatening) outsider. And when you see a mad mom on camera, I think it is often because they have made all these financial and social concessions to the pageant gods and are STILL not winning, and it is is hurtful to them. My guess is that moms that can come up with the money to play are seen as cash cows and moms who depend solely on their child’s beauty, confidence, and talent are iced out, let their child be ever so beautiful, etc. The \glitz\ child beauty pageant industry seems much more about the money and the mothers than the children.

18. 18
    WerkItSmoochy
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    Totally agree with Ssarrrah about Emma pulling the “personality” title…come on, aren’t these things supposed to be judged largely on beauty? Sure, she had a cute personality, but it was easy to see that Emma Belle was by far the most beautiful child there. In fact, I think she is the most beautiful child that has ever been followed by T&T. Anyone with pageant experience care to elaborate on how that could have happened? I was expecting at least a mini supreme for her, or a face title or something.

19. 19
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 7:18 pm

    I agree with SSarrrah and WerkitSmoochy about EB. But I said this in the Mini….Since this was a Full Glitz pageant, wouldn’t EB get points taken off for not having the “pageant hair” and the CupCake Dress? I thought EB looked adorable with her natural hair and really did like her Beauty Dress. But it was not the Full on CupCake dress that all the other girls were wearing.

    EB is probably by far the best Pageant Girl we have seen on the show. Her melt down over her skirt didn’t turn into a full on freak out. Sure she was “off” when it came time to Jungle Wear, but she just had that melt down. It is not like she was late cause she had to pee.

    Someone else was right about Bella, she won for Outfit of Choice…we never saw what that was. The editing just makes us want to believe that she won for Jungle Wear. No I was not at this pageant. I hope that when her mom saw this episode that she finally gets it in her head that Bella hates pageants!!

    Brooklynn was adorable and I thought did well for being 18 months old. Her mom is a space case. But then again, I don’t like cameras in my face. I will do what ever it takes to get away from a video camera.

20. 20
    Crabbyfan
    Posted February 3, 2013 at 11:46 pm

    1 – crabby, I do believe your recaps get better every one I read.

    2 – I haven’t seen a delusional mother come on and defend herself in awhile. Can someone please hand out cards at all the pageants pointing out where to read the best pageant gossip?!? I wonder what Jennifer Lopez and squidly are up to!

21. 21
    Tracy
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 5:17 am

    Recap was the best!

    Really bothers me that Bella is so unhappy and mother just doesn’t care. Kid will probably run away by the time she’s 13 or have every orifice pierced so she’ll no longer be cute…unless there’s a Little Miss Bondage Pageant.

22. 22
    April
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 5:21 am

    I don’t think Personality is a eff you award. In my first big Cinderella natural pageant I won top Personality and I was very pleased. It was the second biggest award in the pageant. It means you outscored all the other girls in your age group in your interview and just overall personality. Which I know natural pageants are not glitz pageants but I don’t think it is something to be mad about either. I was thrilled to get it because I schooled the other girls who were too afraid to talk on a huge stage in front of tons of people. I had no fear and just talked and was charming. It means you are well spoken, likable, charming, intelligent, engaging, confident. It almost means more because you are being told your brain is good too, not just your beauty.

    That little girl did have a great personality so that is probably why they gave it to her.

23. 23
    Hayley
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 6:15 am

    I think Miss Emma’s award was one of the “bigger” titles, check out the crown she got, totally different to the others!

24. 24
    YoureKillinMeSmalls
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 8:00 am

    Emma Belle needs to be in a Gap ad. Pronto.

    I’m guessing Amy’s ditziness was cute to her husband when they first met, probably even appealing because it made him feel extra smart to be around her (men… they do love to be admired, lol). But after a few years, being married to a ding a ling probably has started to wear on his nerves a bit, hence the “getting mad” when people say the wrong word. Not saying he doesn’t love her, but his frustration with her airheadedness seems to be showing itself. Overall, she seems sweet, but either not very bright, or just expresses herself in a way that comes off as not very bright. Hubby was probably appealing to her because he seemed like a friggin’ genius!

25. 25
    thankfulnottobethem
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 8:01 am

    I don’t think Amy was ditzy but rather just a giant passive aggressive bitch. I am sure all her snide comments about the family members are a typical view into what conversations with her must be like.

    And really – “she got nothing” as a reply to Brooklyn’s title? Pathetic.

26. 26
    Kat
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 10:04 am

    @Jen, Wait, we’re not supposed to name the kids after where we want them to work when they grow up. Damn…my little Cardiac Care Unit is gonna be upset.

27. 27
    jen
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 11:28 am

    @Kat
    yes, I am sorry. My neighbors were upset when I informed them of that. I feel bad for little Sanitation Department and Street Corner.

28. 28
    Tapnfeet99
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 2:19 pm

    Well it is settled. My future kids are going to be named Doctor, Lawyer, and Movie Star.

    Emma Belle is THE most gorgeous child that has ever been on the show. Makes me want to hire the parents to have a baby for me so I could have such a gorgeous child too! Haha. She truly was a doll….beautiful AND sweet.

29. 29
    joye
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    I have to admit that I stalk this web site the day after each T&T episode, waiting impatiently for the mini-cap. Even worse, I then log in waaaaay too often in anticipation of the full recap. It’s the best entertainment on the Internet! Dear Crabby, you are too funny and astute. “How has the royal family of Nigeria NOT found this couple?” That’s what they call rapier wit.

    Let me add my cheer for Emma Belle. She was the most delightful child we’ve seen. Wonder how long she’s been competing.

30. 30
    Hater of coach Nikki
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 7:03 pm

    Did anyone else noticed the dirty look the judge gave the other (during the commentary) when she was cut off mid sentence? If looks could kill! How rude!

    Emma Belle was so gorgeous! She had a very good personality. hope she stays that way. I felt so bad for her when her skirt malfunctioned.

    Brooklyn was cute. Mother was ditzy. Father was trying?

    Bella needed a nap! Was so tired of hearing the word no. The mother needs to be slapped! Did love the banana phone. How original.

31. 31
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted February 4, 2013 at 11:48 pm

    Another great recap!! We were not at this pageant, but it’s likely that Brooklyn didn’t “beat” Emma in as much as they were likely not competing against eachother for any but the title Vegas won.
    Lower supremes are usually given in “breakdowns” or “supreme groups” (often 0-2, 3-5, etc) and they were likely in different ones.

32. 32
    Talk It Then
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 7:36 am

    Emma should have gotten grand from the looks of it… She is absolutely gorgeous little girl.
    Amy needs to leave that child alone… Bella hates pageants!
    As far as the other coo coo that was on there… sad to say but she is really a dumbass. She did that through the whole filming. I know they script it but geesh… noone can do that much editing. She is really a blonde.. true colors showing through here. I believe out of all the episodes I have watched she has got to be in the running for biggest dummy of all… Thanks for the recap!

33. 33
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 10:10 am

    Emma’s dress fit weirdly– like it was too long or something, and she was wobbly and disoriented during safari wear (not her fault, though– she is 5, and was flustered by skirt-gate). We have seen Vegas (eesh, what a name!!) and she is a pro– very polished. I wonder if Amy’s comment about “she got nothing” was pulled from some other conversation– it seemed very awkward and out of place, given the situation, and then she went right back to being happy, if a bit vacant.

34. 34
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 10:16 am

    And just because my capcha is “do a little dance”, I will add this: I get the impression that Bella is nearly 3, and that is a really contrary age. I have seen nearly-3′s claim they hate everything, because they know it will get a response. I swear they are miniature 13 year olds, looking for ways to embarrass their parents at any cost. Or she really may just hate pageants. .

35. 35
    GrammyDi
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 10:37 am

    I thought Emma looked like a young Hayden Panetierre (sp?). She was an adorable little girl, and I was amazed that her \meltdown\ fizzled out so quickly.
    I got the impression that Adam probably told Amy \don’t embarass me\, which made her super-nervous, and caused her to trip all over her words. Kind of hard to believe she didn’t know \lioness\ was a real word, though.
    Great recap, the captions were hilarious as always.

36. 36
    Hatched One
    Posted February 5, 2013 at 11:47 am

    @Pageant-grandma (34) – I can agree with you about three year olds. Everyone talks about the terrible twos, but my daughter was delightful at 2! Three years old – turned into a major bitch! I’m still waiting for it to be over (she’s 25)! Only kidding, the kid’s terrific.

    DC – as always, wonderful recap!

37. 37
    Jazzy
    Posted February 7, 2013 at 8:39 am

    Great recap! LOVED Emma – her hair was gorgeous. I love that they didn’t put dumbass looking fake curls on top of it. That is a good point, that it’s time for pageants to update their looks. The hair that most girls have is just so stupid looking.

    I didn’t get the personality award either. Why didn’t she get a supreme? And how the hell did Brooklyn get one? Strange.

    Oh and I thought Emma was a dead ringer for Meg Ryan.

38. 38
    Pugluvr32
    Posted February 9, 2013 at 1:14 pm

    The first picture is one of my best friends(: Good recap Crabby, as usual!