Grandpa pulls up in one of those big-ass full-sized RVs to take everyone to the pageant. Economic! Although, maybe Grandpa is living in it right now.
Adam says he understands the pageant is “Cheetah-licious” so he’s expecting to see a lot of leopard print. Or cheetah print. “And all sorts of colors,” he says, looking at Amy who once again averts her eyes. Maybe these two are just stunned with this new-fangled contraption called TV and the cameras that magically steal their souls on put them on the electric box for all to see. How has the royal family of Nigeria NOT found this couple?
Amy is helping Brooklyn up the steep stairs of the RV and Grandpa just sits on his ass until Amy is like, DUH, little help. I realize your bones are almost dust but give the kid a hand!
Help her you son of a bitch!
Adam says he thinks it’s going to be a wild weekend, “Cause it’s Cheetah-licious,” and they both giggle then do the “REOUR!” with the cheetah jazz hands. Would someone please introduce these two?
You don’t see Todd Bailey showing this much cleavage!
Pageant day! Emcee Angelique is ready to get these party staaarted.
For those of you unfamilar with Quapaw, Oklahoma, it’s in the middle of F#CKING NOWHERE.
And now the real fun begins with Amy. She interviews, “We’re here today at the Cheetah-licious pageant we’re really excited for Brooklyn’s pageant.” Someone off-camera asks, “What’s gonna happen today?” and Amy looks like a deer caught in headlights.
I didn’t know there would be math at this pageant!
She pauses a loooong time and says, “That’s a hard question.” Only if you don’t know the answer and clearly you aren’t even sure what day it is.
Oh, great…the makeup artist made her look like John C. Reilly.
She says that there are a lot of girls with blonde hair and blue eyes like Brooklyn, but that Brooklyn’s a little cuter. “That’s a good answer, right?” she asks. Wow, need reassurance much?
That kid is totally wearing a picture of herself…great facials both of them!
Bella is asked if she can say Cheetah-licious. She cannot/will not. They ask if she’s ready for the pageant. She is not. She doesn’t want to get her hair done – do not touch those rollers in her hair! – and she doesn’t want anyone looking at her.
God I HATE this pageant shit!
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