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SHE HATES PAGEANTS!
Princess…not Bella! Queen…not Bella! So she pulled for a higher title. Bella kind of freaks because she didn’t win anything and dammit, she wants her daddy NOW.
Emma’s group is up next and Angela – say it with me – is nervous. Oh, chill already. They skip princess and go straight to Queen…not Emma! So she pulled too.
Outfit of Choice…Bella! Looks like the banana phone kicked some serious ass. Lana is thrilled because she thinks Bella really won something, but wasn’t it the ringing banana that clinched it?
Personality Plus Supreme…Amy hilariously interviews, “We’re hoping for grand supreme because Brooklyn always turns it on onstage and she did pretty good in turning it on today even with the little distractions she did pretty good onstage turning it on.” Then she looks confused and the whole crew laughs.
Slapping herself in the head, she says, “I don’t know what to say, y’all, it’s hard. I’m trying to remember like 10 sentences.” Or you could just let them come naturally like in a conversation. But maybe you don’t have enough “degress” to do that.
So back to Personality Plus Supreme…Emma! Angela said she couldn’t be prouder.
Mini-Supreme…Brooklyn! “She got NOTHING,” Amy snots. “Maybe some gas money.” Holy shit! Where did this Amy come from? Bitter Knobtown? Wow. WOW. I did not see that coming.
Grand Supreme? Some pole-dancer-in-training named Vegas. Way to make sure your daughter is never going to be CEO. Dumbass parents.
Amy says if she could change one thing about the pageant it would be for Brooklyn to be happier. Uh, you know you two are different people, right? Because your kid shits her pants so I’m guessing on the scale of happiness today, she doesn’t know what is what. YOU are the one who is unhappy. Say what you really mean!
“It was a really big pageant, there were a lot of good contestants in her division and the division had a lot of good contestants.” Totally brill. “Okay…here I go again!” she says exasperatedly. Then she looks off-camera and says, “STOP LAUGHING MOM, I’ve been up since 6 o’clock this morning!” Ha!