Kylie jumps out of her spaceship and does her robot dance with an outfit that has blinking lights on it! How cool is that? She does a nice job – very enthusiastic, smiling and she knows that routine. Excellent job.
Nerdy or not, everyone knows The Robot always ROCKS.
“I kicked ass, of course I did,” Kylie says, roboting the words she SHOULD NOT BE SAYING AT ALL. Where did this come from? She didn’t swear all episode and now she potty-mouths it?
Trinity is up next and she’s in some kind of Carmen Miranda ruffly pants and she does a much better job with this than in beauty because she seems more comfortable. What I don’t like is her comfort with the “Booty Pop” because she’s a LITTLE GIRL. One of the judges loves it. Stupid judge. That is just not right and totally sexualizes little kids. I don’t even want to see adults doing that, let alone little kids.
Somewhere a natural beauty pageant judge is spinning in her grave.
To the judges table for judging! Sienna first…loved her hair and makeup but she didn’t have enough eye contact due to overcoaching! Wah-wah. Kylie wowed them the entire time and she worked very hard. Trinity was beautiful but she needs to relax like she did with her Booty Pop. “Tough competition.” Whatever.
And this little girl is adorable, but would clearly like to be ANYWHERE ELSE!
Crowning! Laura tells us she’s super-nervous about crowning because – and you’ll never believe this – LAST YEAR THEY DIDN’T COME HOME WITH A CROWN! Holy shit, would you please get some help at the local VA hospital for your post-traumatic stress disorder? Because clearly this has scarred you FOR LIFE.
“As long as Sienna takes the grand, we’re good,” she says, completely oblivious to what is going on in the real world.
Their biggest title is Ultimate Supreme, so somewhere they lost the “Grand” which is odd. Four-year-olds are up first…second place…not Sienna. Beauty Supreme winner is…a TIE! Between Berkeley and Sienna!
Tied with a hairball, how humiliating.
Laura is PISSED. I’m not sure you know, but last year, Sienna didn’t bring home dick. The family is trying to keep that quiet, so whatever you do, don’t bring it up 50 times.
My mouth is open but I am speechless.
Laura says, “She didn’t win anything.” She just won Beauty Supreme. I mean, I know she’s not pulling for a higher title, I believe the same thing happened about a year ago, but do you see the sash and crown? How you react is going to be how she reacts. So calm the hell down already and tell her you are proud of her.
In the hallway, Sienna is crying into her mother’s shoulder and says, “Kelsey called me a loser.” What a little bitch that Kelsey is! I would totally find that kid and kick her in the shins when no one was looking. Or give her a swirly in the girls’ bathroom. What a ill-mannered brat!
That little coochmonkey knows she is so busted.
So to Laura’s credit, she walks down the hallway and confronts that little cooch. “Did you call Sienna a loser?” I wish they would have showed that girl’s face a little more. She says no, but you know she did. “She’s feeling very sad,” Laura says and Kelsey smiles and nods. I would take my microphone off and take Kelsey into the bathroom for a swift ass-beating, I swear. How rude is that? And who is this Kelsey bitch? Because I think she needs to be featured on an upcoming episode, she’s just our type of kid.
Five-year-old category next. Latrine says Trinity is not used to not winning, so if she doesn’t win big she’ll be sad. This is your FIRST glitz pageant. How can you even think you can win? “We’re looking to take one of the top titles,” Latrine says. And I’m looking to take a Xanax just because I cannot believe how Delusiona you are.