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Finally Natali “perks up” and smiles for the camera. That. Was. Exhausting.
Granny and Fierce-y Justin are talking about the pageant and once again, YaYa has wandered in from her nursing home to probably fart up a storm.
Granny tells us that fiesta means party. “It can either mean Mexican or Spanish,” she tells us with the conviction of her Honest Abe comments earlier. “Or even American, I guess, fiesta just means party in our vocabulary, right?” Yes, just like taco, chalupa and green card mean what they mean in American. Also, American is not our language, that’s English. The more you know (insert rainbows and unicorns).
Granny pulls out a hideous flamenco dress that she found on a drag queen site, which I thought was odd since it’s in kid size. Are there child drag queens? The dress is a sherbet-orange with black trim and I’m shocked YaYa doesn’t lose her shit seeing how it is arch-enemy Bengals colored.
YaYa, wearing the headband/hair combo AGAIN, says, “If it were gold and black and I were about 50 years younger, I’d a-probably wore it myself.” No doubt. Also, have you been dipping into the sauce? Because you seem kind of drunk.
Justin is a one-trick vocabulary pony as he says Ariana’s dress is – say it with me – FIERCE!
Ariana explains what a drag queen is. “It means, like, you drag something, and then you were a queen,” she says. Yes, that is exactly what it means.
Granny explains that the last time they participated, Ariana had a brown dress and not a lot of people liked it. You know, I get what they were trying to do, but she’s right, brown is not a color for a pageant. We need to see all the colors of the rainbow as well as every shade of pink ten times over. Brown is not really a little girl/pageant color.
At “Top of the World” salon, Alyssa is having her hair and tan done. This kid is really cute and very bright. She says she likes pageants because she gets to look pretty, “And that means I get comp da da.” Comp da da is great and sometimes companies will even match it up to 3% but you have to wait 5 years before you are actually vested.
AmyLeigh wants to get Alyssa’s fall highlighted to match her daughter’s hair while Alyssa gets hosed with chilly brown paint so she looks like she just got back from Boca. However, the hair stylist has some bad news! No! The hairpiece says it’s real hair but clearly it’s not because the highlight doesn’t work on the hair. It’s the same color as when they brought it in. Hope they don’t charge for that bullshit. AmyLeigh says she’ll just do it at home and she’s not pleased.