Oh Lord. Natali is getting ready and suddenly IT’S ALIVE! She interviews she’s very happy today. Holy shit, did they give her Go-Go Juice or something?
Because you mapped an escape route?
Ariana tells us she didn’t get a lot of sleep and she looks exhausted. Did she go to a drag queen show last night? Bet it was FIERCE.
I’m pretty sure the drag show last night was choreographed by J-Mo, it kicked ass!
Doing Ariana’s makeup is Jabba the Hutt’s sister, and sitting in the room is the personality-less makeup artist from earlier, Miss Amber, who is also Ariana’s coach. Why would you have a coach that lives like 2 states away from you? That makes no sense. But Granny says Amber is the best and her girls always win. We’ll see.
I miss Han Solo in frozen carbonite.
Granny interviews that Miss Amber has changed quite a few of Ariana’s moves which I think is absolutely stupid to do right before the pageant. But now I’m seeing why Miss Amber’s NORTH CAROLINA GIRLS win the pageants – she’s sabotaging everyone else!
The drag version of a pacifier.
Justin shows up and he’s kind of ticked about her routine being changed. He loves her hair, saying, “The higher the hair, the closer to God.” Uh, I think it’s the closer to Jesus, especially when the pageant is a FIESTA. Lots of Jesuses. Also, God is busy answering the prayers of the other mothers who want their kids to win.
Okay, now is that a slice of bologna on his forehead…or is he circumcising little by little?
Let’s get this party started! Hi hottie emcee Mr. Tony, watch out for that pageant director and don’t accept any drinks from her!
For talent, this little boy is going to peel his face off.
Holly says dad is going onstage with Natali so she can stay behind the judges and help with the routines. Natali is back to looking comatose and man, those are some vacant eyes.
Holly takes her position behind the judges and Natali tells her dad she wants to go up alone. Rut-roh! Holly is pissed because she says she put a lot into this pageant for her husband to disregard her instructions.
Well, you said you’d do anything to make Natali happy…to be happy, she wants to do this ALONE. You ALSO said you are trying to build up her confidence and bitch, her going onstage ALONE is just that! I know adults who would freak at being onstage in front of people let alone a narcoleptic 3 year old with a slight case of emotional constipation. LET HER GO!
First going onstage alone…then no breastfeeding…what’s next, your own apartment?
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