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Sitting on a bench, Katlyn throws a fit about not wanting to practice. “In, out, in, out, I don’t want to!” Hope she’s talking about the cage.
Katlyn starts biting her nails and her mother reminds her that she paid $40 for those nails just yesterday, so stop biting them but of course Katlyn doesn’t. God, I would so totally spank this kid. Grandpa tries to calm her down but she storms inside. “Lord, have mercy,” Grandpa says. Hey, even the Lord would have spanked her by now.
Pageant day in the booming metropolis of Macon, Georgia! Categories we’ll be seeing are beauty and the Circus Freak Wear. “I hope we don’t see real animals today!” Pageant Director Angela says. Unfortunately, we won’t.
Katlyn’s family has a sticker on their car about her taking home the crown, and I just need a moment here. I am so tired of the pedestal we put all of these kids on – car stickers for cheerleading, football, dance, whatever to promote kids…I mean, I’m sure the boosters need the money, but man it seems like we’ve begun to worship kids for doing very little. And I love the yard signs that have the kid’s name, school and the exact activities they do…it’s like, “Pedophiles, if you are looking for our teen daughter, here’s where she’ll be every day after school.” And the stickers on the back of the cars that show stick-people families and pets? All you’ve done is tell serial killers how many people and cats they will need to kill when robbing you. So it’s like a murder checklist. ON YOUR CAR!
Okay, I’m done but I’m keeping the soapbox close just in case.
Okay, pageant backdrop…could it be more wrinkled? Did NO ONE bring a hand-steamer? Come on. I love the balloons and watching people screw together the huge trophies (so THAT’S how it’s done!), but that backdrop is a hot mess. I also like the fact it’s an “International Fresh Faces pageant” but every face is a white kid and the black kid is more cocoa. So nice diversity, pageant!
Oli is trying to wake up and picks her nose to try to get started. She’s getting her hair and makeup done and when she “chooses” to wear her yellow dress because mom says “She knows what looks good on her.” Or the sparkly yellow dress just caught her eye more than the blue did – she’s two and still shitting herself, so I doubt she has the cognitive ability to pick one thing over the other with much real thought.