Despite the drama being forced down our throats, there is really nothing bad that happens here.
Except at the judging table, where someone is Jackin’ it to Jowl City.
Emily tosses Ava-Cate onstage and she does a great job. She’s cute, energetic and makes eye contact with the judges. And I’m loving the ruffles around the top of her dress – so cute. No booty smack, though. Boo!
I’m to sexy for my cupcake skirt, too sexy for my skirt, too sexy…
Samantha is very good onstage, but I have to say that her big hair really showcases her forehead and she’s sporting a Tyra like it ain’t no thing. I think she could use some fringe-y bangs. However, she is gorgeous, confident, makes great eye contact and kicks ass. Traven should just go home. Forever.
And once again, the Aryan race wins.
Amy hugs LaNesia and they seem like good pageant buddies – healthy competitors. Awww. Vomit.
And…this is why we love Mr. Todd.
Fairy/Princess Wear is next. Okay, how many fairies are they to choose from? Tinkerbell. Tooth. Uh…Sugar Plum. Godmother. I mean, help me out here. I’m too afraid to Google “Famous Fairies.” That has blocked websites written ALL over it.
Mr. Todd calls it, “Princessairies or Fairyincesses,” confirming what we’ve all suspected: He started drinking early in the morning this pageant day. And didn’t invite us!
We see Traven squishing his cousin in his arms and LaNesia interviews that Traven is being a little demon child today. He keeps hugging Princess close so her chest is in his face and he won’t let her go.
Come on baby, I know we are cousins but who cares how many limbs our kids have.
This kid really has some creepy tendencies towards women. “I’m going to get you some counseling!” his mother says in the pageant room. “He’s a brat,” she tells us. Yeah, he’s an undisciplined mega-brat with odd sexual knowledge. What he needs is counseling, yes, but I’m willing to be a swift kick in the ass and a couple hundred time-outs, added to basic reading, writing, arithmetic and etiquette would also help. In other words, you should adopt him out to Mr. Drummond.
Although…his kids turned out terrible too.
Then there is a fake fight between Traven and his cousin that isn’t really worth discussing other than saying he’s a bully during it, but it’s not really him as much as I feel someone is egging them on. Meh.
No one told me there would be mirrors here.
So Prince Traven gets onstage for his big performance…and he seems to forget why he’s there. Or what he’s supposed to do. Or where he is. LaNesia is saying, “Dance! Dance!” but Traven freezes. The whole thing sucks it and even by the time he remembers what to do, it still sucks. LaNesia admits he sucked it. One judge says he looked lost but it was a cute idea.
Uh, der, what?
Next up is Ava-Cate in her fantastic costume – very colorful and shiny – you know how I like that shiny stuff!
Unfortunately, the moment was ruined when Ava-Cate got robbed onstage.
Emily says that Ava-Cate needs to get her routines down so she doesn’t rely on her mom, and a judge echoes that sentiment. Either way, A-C rocks it onstage.
So, it’s just one salon in your town? And one stylist? And one hair style?
Samantha gets onstage and once again, I have to say j’adore those wings – very cool and it looks beautiful. She really knows her routine. What they didn’t know is that the song they gave to the audio team was 60 seconds but her routine was 90 seconds. She kind of panics but pulls it together and what I thought was cool was that Amy actually fessed up that they gave the audio people the wrong length song – it wasn’t the audio team’s fault, it wasn’t the pageant’s fault, it was their own. Samantha melts a little but overall, she recovered well.
She should win just because of those wings.