And in a Jamie Sterling moment, she asks, “Who’s going to win this weekend?” and both the girls agree that Scarlett is and Lurch says, “I think so.” You know they can both hear you, right?
Oh, man, the douchiness continues as we see Kylee getting into a limo that is being driven by someone who clearly works in “waste management” in New Jersey, followed by her dad who is holding a huge cup of Red Bull and vodka and probably needs a designated driver this time of the morning, wearing a hoodie shirt with the hoodie up. What. A. DOUCHEBAG!
They use the limo to drive over to the “Winning Wand,” to meet with Coach Georgina and do a photoshoot. Marty, because he has no class, says they wanted to do something “Vegas-y” in the photos because Kylee is a Vegas girl. Unfortunately, Blue Man Group wasn’t available because they actually have talent and a brand they want to protect, so Marty instead gets the Mini Blue Man Group or as TurtleGirl93 mentioned in her comments, The Smurfs, to pose with Kylee. It’s like whatever would be on the opposite site of the Oompa Loompa color wheel.
Because there is nothing new money can’t buy, except taste and class.
Georgina shows how much she should be sued for fraud when she says, “Kylee, you are going to win the pageant just on these pics.” You can’t even see her hair or face under all of that blue makeup, how could they possibly give her high scores on this? Plus, these Mini Blues look really tacky and aren’t even made up properly, so it looks like Cheap Blue Man Group. This whole thing was wrong, wrong, wrong and yet for D-Bag Dad, so right.
Georgina says that it shows Kylee is fun and that she doesn’t have to be this perfect little girl with perfect little hair…she can rock it blue too. Are you nuts or are you new? Because the whole idea behind pageants is perfection that can never be reached without PHOTOSHOP.
To make it worse, Georgina screams, “MINI BLUE MAN GROUP BOOTY POP GO!” First of all, SHUT UP. Second, I hope you are banging the dad because you kind of deserve each other. Third, enjoy being a single mother and remember…he created you.
Back with Elizabeth and Melty Noni, they are stopping by what can only be called the worst decorated house in the history of T&T, something that is witch-themed with clown heads and faces and glittery lights and some kind of carousel bunny and what the hell is going on at this place?
It’s like Hoarders: Pageant Style!
Oh, now it makes sense. They’ve just arrived at Auntie Floozy’s house. She asks Elizabeth if she wants a martini. She does not. I could use one just from having to see the inside of your bungalow, Auntie.
And her name seems to fit better than her sweater.
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