Kylee keeps getting into Georgina’s space and you can tell Big G is getting irritated, but because she’s on camera, she keeps her cool. Noni and Christina (remember her?) are kind of freaking out. Guess Noni should have paid for a personal hair and makeup person instead of a shared one!
The pageant begins and they are still getting Elizabeth ready. “You’re not scurrying!” she says. That kid is all sorts of messed up on the words today, isn’t she?
Noni interviews that Elizabeth’s hair didn’t look right – it was sticking out in the back. Noni tries to fix it but Georgina says not to touch it or it will get ratty. You mean more ratty?
Bitch, don’t make me slap you so hard your face goes back three surgeries.
Lurch Mom and Dr. Eye (who if I remember correctly from the last recap on him, was a really nice, loving dad with a ton of patience…clearly) are trying to put one of their progeny into a skirt and all that kid is doing is screaming, crying, whining and fussing while kicking her feet all around. Dr. Eye says that they can’t play their own music and Lurch Mom says her kids won’t perform without it. Truer words were never spoken!
It’s like a very, very effective birth control ad, isn’t it?
Scarlett is up first and she basically strokes out onstage…she stands there, wiggles a little, then goes deadface. Dad should have worked it, though, he looks very nice in his tux. Lurch Mom says Scarlett was very irritated that she didn’t have her own music and my feeling is they need to pull their precious cargo from these pageants until they actually learn what to do. She blew it.
Yep. You could light up all of Vegas 24/7/365 with this energy.
Frank Marino, Impersonator Extraordinaire, says that today was not Scarlett’s day and she looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but there. Yeah, probably in an overpriced, gas-guzzling hot pink stretch Hummer.
Frank does an amazing imitation of the “Derrrr” that was Scarlet.
Isabella is getting ready to go onstage by screaming, crying, whining and fussing (now known as SCWF™) as Lurch tells us that Isabella can turn on the charm when she wants to. Clearly, she never wants to. “It was just a disaster in the back,” she says. She says when everyone has had it and is over it, she’s pulled the kids from pageants. Then PULL! PULL NOW!
And the hits just keep coming. Or maybe they should be hit.
Isabella goes onstage with her dad and she’s a hot mess because she’s cried off all of her makeup. Like that matters. She smiles but stands there like she’s taking a really good dump. Then she turns and runs off the stage. Hooray!
Did they just announce they’ve refreshed the buffet at The Golden Nugget?!
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