Danielle says that Madison doesn’t have a lot of experience but reminds us it doesn’t take a genius to figure out these pageants. Well, you definitely hired a not-genius, so way to prove your point.
Then Danielle ignorantly says that Jersie has a chance to bring home the big title this weekend. Yeah, she has about as much chance as I do and I’m not even entered. But if I were, I bet I really could bring home the big title, I do pretty feet all the time while washing dishes.
Ashley is practicing “a lot” because she’s never won money and she wants to win money because when she gets money she’s going to spend it on a car a pink car with a crown on the back of it that says pageant diva on the back of it and she’s going to drive the car around and it will also have a heart on the side of it and a crown on the other side so it’s a pageant diva car and this is precisely why I don’t have kids shut up already!
Ashley tells her mom she doesn’t like practicing with her, because her mom drives her nuts. That never changes, honey. Christie says they practice in the morning, afternoon and evening, “usually until she falls apart crying.” Great strategy. All she does is nag Ashley. Bank of Nana should shell out for a coach already.
And because of that, I’m going to take it THERE: HOW does this woman wipe?
Bank of Nana says that Christie is more disciplined than her, “And more meaner.” Then Bank of Nana looks at Ashley and says, “Are you over her?” meaning Christie, and I’m going to tell you, if my mother was saying that to my kid in front of me, the issue of inheritance would be moot because I don’t think you can collect that money once they convict you of murder. Bitch needs to shut it and like yesterday. No amount of money is worth that. And you can totally tell that there are some seriously deep-seeded problems between these two.
Oh no, back with the Beverly Hillbillies, Shannon and Kacie are practicing with Gracie. Shannon says they’ve spent more time “practicin’ ” and “stressin’ ” and she’s never met a letter G that she liked. While they practice, Shannon tells Gracie to incorrectly “always move” and “always shake it” when she’s onstage. Yeah, judges really don’t like spazmos.
And when you win your trophies you can show them off on mommy’s Boob Shelf™ by Ronco.
Then the bomb drops – “Grace’s biggest competition will be Faith-LYNN,” Shannon tells us. That’s right…fresh off of last week’s Coochorama Drama, Coach Nikki and her mini-me-devil-almost-spawn will be at this pageant. Yay, more foul language in front of kids that doesn’t involve South Park!
OMG is this AWESOME!
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