Toddlers & Tiaras: Why Some Eat Their Youngins

40 Comments

1. 1
   Parisi LaRoe
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 12:39 pm

   You did a great job DearCrabby!

   Now, I will sit back, grab my Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi and Pixy Stix and get ready for the comment war to begin!

   Happy New Year!!

2. 2
   thisbuggs4u
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 1:20 pm

   Thanks for another great recap Crabby!!

   We had some out of town guests staying with us for Christmas, and they had never seen this show. They are now hooked! We also got to relish in the delight that was Beth and Gabby’s episode that followed. They had some oh so not nice things to say about Cooch and Lori, and how it would be fun to see FaithLyn and Alaska go head to head!!

   Umm I don’t know what Cooch was talking about, Gracie and FaithLyn weren’t even in the same age bracket. Yeah I know all the girls compete for the same supreme titles, but really…

   I personally did not like the red dresses. Either of them. I don’t like the one long sleeve…

   Loved Jersie and her purple beauty dress. Then again I love the dark purple!

   Sorry for the mistakes, I am on my Kindle, It was an unexpected Birthday present….still trying to figure it all out. I somehow activated my auto-correct…can’t figure out how exactly I did that..

   Happy New Year gasmi! Hope everyone has a safe and fun night. I can’t afford to get you all out of the clink tonight! MR Z got a ticket on Christmas, and well that was all the extra money we had….damn cop!

3. 3
   coffylover
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 1:28 pm

   Oh my, this episode was perfect all the way round! @DearCrabby, you’re so right that most of the adults needed lessons in how not to be a tool. At least most of the kids were likeable, though

   Does Jersie remind anyone else (facially, anyway) of Riley and Bob from last year’s Christmas pageant? She’s a sweet kid, and I really hope she finds her voice and her confidence, poor thing!

   I’d give my left nugget to even ONE DAY in my life, look as gorgeous as Ashley looked in her pink lipstick and purple eye-shadow. So pretty!! I hope we see more of her in seasons to come!

   Have a nice night, all!

4. 4
   StageMom
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 2:02 pm

   @thisbuggs the other day I was thinking I’d love to see a T&T showdown and Alaska vs Faith Lynn made my list. Alaska would wipe the floor with her. As much as her mother annoys me, she has national pageant experience, excellent coaches and eyes that don’t droop.

5. 5
   Tracy
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 2:40 pm

   Bank of Nana reminds me of hatchet face from Crybaby

6. 6
   crankyguy
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 2:45 pm

   @Tracy, you must be talking about the photo on page 6, because I thought exactly the same thing.

7. 7
   April
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 3:35 pm

   Tracy: OMG you are right!

8. 8
   Pat Ledoux
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 3:35 pm

   Crabby, as always, a writing masterpiece! I thought Ashley was adorable; I hope her future is not looking like Grandma Moneybags. I think Granny’s been sticking way too many red pixie stix in her mouth, man, that is a face that could actually stop a clock!

   Gracie made me smile when she wanted to give her candy and balloons to Faith Lynn (Take that Coochy), I think she’s a pretty good kid for as redneck. I so hoped Shannon and Coach Cooch would pound the shit out of each other, I think in the end they’re both chickenshit and blowing alot of hot hillbilly air.

   What a shmuck Coach Coochie is, talking about how ugly the other girl was, she is such a loser. Faith Lynn (Ha I did it again) is surely headed for the pole if she continues to be coached by a bitter troll.

   May the nut jobs continue to shine on T&T, love it. Happy New Year Crabby to you and yours, may the force be with you.

9. 9
   Chicken Lips
   Posted December 31, 2012 at 4:32 pm

   I’m at my parents for the holidays, so we all watched together. My crankypants dad was all “Where are the fathers? What’s the matter with these people? How do they dress their kids like that?” When Gracie wanted to give Faith. Lynn. her stuff and the Hilljack Twins when apeshit, the father piped up about how that makes Gracie a bigger person and that’s a good thing, Crankypants Dad gave the biggest cheer of the night. I pointed out that most of the time, it’s the mothers/grandmothers/”coaches” that make this shit cray cray – most of the girls are thrilled to the gills at getting the tiara/crown and the stuffed animal and that many times the girls will ask their dads “Why is Mama upset?”. These parents are all effed up!

   I think I’ve figured it out (and if someone mentioned this in last week’s ‘cap, I’m sorry – I haven’t gotten to catch up yet!), but maybe Nikki is really Faith. Lynn’s. biological mother, but was too young to take care of a youngin’, so she gave the baby to another family and is now introduced as “Pageant Coach” and all the money she spends is really the back child support she owes. Hey – it could happen! I think it was Jack Nicholson that was raised by his grandparents and didn’t know that who he thought of as his sister was really his biological mom. And there was a similar story line in the movie Soap Dish, so it isn’t outside the realm of possibilities!

10. 10
    Faye
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 5:18 pm

    Oh Pageant Nana I have yet to see anyone who can pull of “chin/neck combo” but points for trying.

11. 11
    AmyOops
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 5:57 pm

    Fabulous recap as always, Crabby. It made my NYE as I’m stuck at home, sick, with the possibility of the ER at any moment. Sigh.

    Ashley is one of the prettiest T & T girls I’ve seen, even without the boatloads of spackle and paint some girls actually need to be competitive (and wtf does THAT say about how mindfucked I am from watching this crap?).

    Oh, and Bitchface, you have forever ruined one of the greatest eighties pop songs out there, “Darling Nikki”. I shall never be able to stomach listening to that again for fear of thinking of YOU. Thanks a lot.

12. 12
    Laura Gill
    Posted December 31, 2012 at 6:15 pm

    Coach Cooch AND the White Trash Mafia? I feel so spoiled. This season of T&T has been a gift that keeps on giving.

13. 13
    georgiababe
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 12:21 am

    I’m not even finished the recap yet but the first thing I thought when I saw Kacie was that she needed a better bra. I know this show isn’t exactly known for its MILF factor, but come on lady, you are a nice looking woman at a normal weight, hike those puppies up! Let the other moms with no hope represent Team Droopy.

14. 14
    coffylover
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 5:00 am

    @AmyOops #11, I hope you feel better soon! My hubby and all our friends are sick as dogs with some heinous bug. Went to CVS yesterday to pick up Nyquil, and they were literally sold out. Crazy!

15. 15
    TurtleGirl93
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 6:13 am

    @Chicken Lips #9, yep, that was Jack Nicholson.

    I have to LOL at myself. When I read “derby”, my mind went to roller derby not horse derby. I was a little confused when I got to the pictures. Personally I think roller derby would have the higher entertainment value. Although…I’m disappointed that no one took advantage of this awesome “Pretty Woman” costume moment.

    Happy 2013, everyone!

16. 16
    KJN
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 10:11 am

    Nyquil used to be the best stuff ever. Then they took out everything in it that was good. I would like to find all the meth heads that took away my Nyquil and punch every last one of them in the throat.

17. 17
    ForJersiesMom
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 10:49 am

    I wrote this on the Minicap, but just in case Jersie’s mom is reading this, your daughter could have a social anxiety disorder called selective mutism. Please check this out. Threatening her will only add to her anxiety and won’t make her talk. She may grow out of it, but she may really benefit from some cognitive behavior therapy. Good luck.

18. 18
    Dutchiedevil
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 11:33 am

    @ForJersie I don’t think she has that as I read in the recap that she did speak to camera? Still worth checking out though.

    @AmyOops hope you feel better!

19. 19
    rebecca pressley
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 11:43 am

    when niki said that ‘everyone knew faithLYNN had a new red dress”, exaclty how would people know that?? and why would niki think that only FLynn can wear a red dress?
    I thought that Danielle (jersies mom), looked like Sandra Bullock!
    LOVED hearing Ashely talk, she sounded like a grown women talking!

20. 20
    rebecca pressley
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 11:44 am

    Shannon and Kacie, if you read this, I live near charlotte and drive thru Aynor on my way to the beach! love that tiny town!

21. 21
    rollingeyes
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 1:10 pm

    I loved Ashely but I think she was pretty new at the pageant stuff…when she was going on about all her crowns and trophies I noticed that they were all little crowns, and then when she won queen her mom made the comment about how it was the best she’d done up to that point.

    I loved little Jersey (and yes, she did look just like Riley from the Riley and Bob episode), but the non-experienced “coach” was too funny. My heart just sank when her mom said that she thought Jersey had a good chance of bringing home the high title…don’t these people watch the show? How could she have possibly thought that?

    I thought that red dress worn by Faithlyn was hideous…it looked so cheap and tacky, and it didn’t seem to fit her well. When she did that horrible booty pop move I felt physically ill. Nikki is one of the most vile people I’ve ever seen on this show. If she’s hoping to drum up business by her appearances I would think it would backfire; I can’t imagine anyone with any kind of class or morals wanting someone like that around their child.

22. 22
    Jasper
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    I’m glad others have brought up selective mutism, because this is what sprang to mind when I saw Jersie. My little girl has selective mutism, and she does speak in certain situations but not others, which is why it’s referred to as \selective.\ And it’s not as if she’s choosing not to speak at times; she just can’t. I’ve heard it described as similar to freezing up with stage fright. My daughter won’t speak a word at pre-k, but can be quite chatty with certain friends at the park. I really cringed when I saw the pressure they were putting on Jersie to speak up, and I wondered if pageants were the best way to bring her out of her shell. Even if she doesn’t have SM, it’s a lot of pressure on a shy little girl. I was shy as a kid, and my parents accepted that about me, and I was better off for it. Why do people always feel the need to overhaul the personalities of introverted or shy people?

    On another note, Nikki brought some entertaining drama to the episode, but I hate seeing adults bad mouthing children. That is so fucked up.

    And I’m still reeling over the use of the word \youngin\ by what’s-her-name. Youngin? Really? People actually say that in a non-kidding sort of way? She seemed to me like a bad caricature.

23. 23
    ForJersiesMom
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 2:06 pm

    Dutchie – you’re probably right since she was able to speak to the producer or PA. I just thought I’d flag it on the off chance her mom was watching. Strangely I’ve known two girls with SM, but they’re both just fine and well-adjusted. I don’t mean to be alarmist, just offer some help.

24. 24
    AmyOops
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 3:41 pm

    Thanks for the well wishes! Unfortunately I think I’m about to head to the ER again. I wonder if THIS hospital has Wi-Fi…

25. 25
    Classy Drunk
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 3:43 pm

    Get better Amy!

26. 26
    thisbuggs4u
    Posted January 1, 2013 at 4:18 pm

    Amy, you are going back again? That is not right!! Hope you get to feeling better soon..!! something is going around…I will be glad once all this College football stuff is over…There is nothing on, and believe me, I can’t watch a full day of Honey Boo Boo!

27. 27
    MarianMoney
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 3:14 am

    Bank of Nana’s mouth looked recently waxed for the TV filming, shich begs the question, “How many whiskers does she have?”
    Ashley was lovely.
    Jersie was sweet,
    Gracie was cute.
    Nikki needs Neutering
    Lovely children+ freaky adults + Great show

28. 28
    Dutchiedevil
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 4:03 am

    @ForJersie you’re right checking these things out is for the best. And if Jersie’s parents are not aware that this sort of condition exists, they might do her some unintentional harm.

    Sorry if my post have some mistakes in them. I am typing with just one hand at the moment. I am a fully trained secretary and usually type \blind\. Now I need to find the letters on my keyboard by actually looking for them. That is SO weird…

    Oh well, just another month in a cast and hopefully I can use both hands again when they put a splint on it.

    Amy, I hope you will be able to be home and use your internet there!

29. 29
    snowshoecat
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 8:11 am

    Doggone holidays. Missed the program, and then adding insult, missed your ‘cap, DC.

    *sigh*

    That is just no way to begin a new year.

30. 30
    Khakie
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 3:16 pm

    Faith-LYNN and cooch did not deserve 2 episodes, especially back to back. They were both boring, lame, and trying way too hard

31. 31
    bumblebee
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    I just saw this episode and Cooch Nikki was ugly inside and out. I’d like to say I can’t believe an adult would behave like this towards a child, but this show has shown my anything is possible.

32. 32
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    I would love to say that coach Nikki was only playing for the cameras (a lot of people do that at t&t pageants in order to get asked to be followed, which is one reason most of the reputable systems won’t allow their pageants to be filmed), but based on my one experience with her, I’d say that no, she really just is that awful. Ashley really was a doll, both on the stage and off. I loved seeing Jersie (which my phone insists on autocorrecting to “jetskis”) again. She actually was a super sweet little girl.

33. 33
    wireless
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 9:09 pm

    Pageant-grandma, do you know if that has ever worked for anyone? Acting like an idiot at a pageant and then getting followed because of it?

34. 34
    Pageant-grandma
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 10:04 pm

    If it doesn’t work to get followed the first time, it definitely helps if you want to get followed again. Apart from Isabella (who was just so darn cute I was excited she got followed twice) most of the repeats have been nutcases.

35. 35
    coffylover
    Posted January 2, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    @Pageant-grandma, when you so correctly said ‘most of the repeats have been nutcases’, all I could think of was Hooters Tricia, mom of SamiJo, and her faithful sidekick, Mole Sadly, I kind of miss them and their special brand of crazy!

36. 36
    SouthGaMom
    Posted January 3, 2013 at 10:50 am

    Long, long time lurker, first time posting. I finally had to break my silence to answer Jasper’s question. So….Jasper, yes, youngin is still used by many in the South Georgia area. Sadly, britches is also used when referring to shorts, pants, diapers, or any other clothing article intended for the lower region. As a matter of fact, one of the worst offenders is a friend of mine.

    As for Cooch and the Hillbilly twins, they are an unfortunate reality with some of the women I have encountered while growing up in south Georgia. Add alcohol to the mix and you can have an entertaining evening people watching.

37. 37
    Hater of Nikki
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Just curious but does anyone know where Nikki works
    ? She says she has 3 jobs. Does she actually work with children coaching? I read somewhere else that she has a new protege. Did Faith Lynn’s parents FINALLY take their child out of the evil clutches of Nikki? BTW, Nikki says she’s contacting her lawyer to file a defamation claim. Bring it on Bitch!

38. 38
    Ljansen
    Posted January 4, 2013 at 10:12 pm

    Nikki is hoping to be a pageant coach. She is really Faithlynn’s stepmom.

39. 39
    Hater of Nikki
    Posted January 6, 2013 at 1:18 am

    What about the new child Madison?? Stepmother?? FB page under mad dawg and aunt nikki.

40. 40
    ellemenop
    Posted January 8, 2013 at 6:03 pm

    @forjersiesmom (17) — at first I thought the same thing, but having had selective mutism as a child, I doubt it. she didn’t seem anxious as much as just refusing to talk because she didnt want to. with selective mutism, the person’s physical behavior is more withdrawn and less confident than Jersie’s seemed. she seemed to be in protest/almost like she was amused by her behavior. when I had selective mutism, I actually would TRY to talk, because adults constantly harassed me and tried to force me to, but it came as a whisper at best, and I would sometimes cry while trying because I was so upset and embarrassed about it.

    I could be wrong, of course, and it wouldn’t hurt to check, but her physical presence seemed very confidence/nonchalant to me. hell, once I started thinking she was just trying to piss of her annoying mother, I thought it was hilarious. I hope that’s the case.