“Faith-LYNN looks much hotter in red anyway,” Cooch says. So does Satan. Also, they are blonds in red dresses. They look THE SAME.
Gracie gets onstage while Cooch shoots daggers. Gracie is way bouncy and never stops moving, it’s kind of jarring, but she’s really pretty. Shannon says she did a good job but went too fast. Agreed. Judges said she needs to be confident all the way through and she wasn’t.
Faith-LYNN is up next and she continues to look like she’s constipated – seriously, what is up with that “smile” of hers? The announcer says that Faith-LYNN likes to be a role model to the younger girls (as if) and that she doesn’t throw tantrums because it wouldn’t be “stage appropriate.” That’s why you throw them OFFSTAGE like J-Lo. Also, $20 says Cooch changed Faith-LYNN’s description once she saw Gracie was there. Bunch-o-bitches, these women. Hope they all show up to comment and regale us with their “degress.”
Man, you can just hear those teeth grinding, can’t you?
Outfit of Choice is next which is the “Carnival Theme” although is not completely carnival since there were some Derby girls in there. Turns out the pageant was also Derby-related so that’s why this looked a little confusing, but if you’ve ever been to the Derby, you know it’s a carnival in itself.
Don’t eat the children! This is the second warning of the recap!
Jersie has a really cute outfit and does a great job with her dance.
Although she should have waited to scratch that itch.
“Coach” Madison points at her own teeth to indicate “smile,” which makes all the coaching money well-spent. She thinks her choreography for Jersie worked well…I’m guessing that was her dance coach that did that, though.
Someone always tries Gyno Dance for talent and it never quite works out.
Why, why, why would you let your kid sit next to Cooch? Ashley is next to her and Cooch says that Ashley is the best one in her group. “The girl in the red dress was ugly,” she says about Gracie, which is just awful. Don’t blame the kid for the total and complete lack of class and good sportsmanship (and basic grammar skills) of her mom and aunt. Ashley just looks really uncomfortable.
Ashley realizes that some trashy nail salon is missing it’s worst part-time receptionist ever.
“I think Faith-LYNN is the prettiest girl in a red dress, ever,” Cooch says. Jealous much? If she were, would you have to keep announcing it? We need to get Cooch and Shannon in a mud-wrestling match and turn it into a calendar. Someone call Trish, SamiJo’s mom, and see if she can recommend a good sleazy photographer.
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