Monday February 11
Why can’t Taylor Dooley appear with her shirt off in every movie? - Taylor Lautner (February 11, 1992; age 21)
Carrie Diaries (8PM, CW) Mouse turns to Walt for help.
Does Disney own the CW?
The Biggest Loser (8PM, NBC) The contestants face temptation in the form of Valentine’s Day treats.
Easter may damn well kill them.
The Bachelor (8PM, ABC) The pressure intensifies as hometown dates loom.
I know there’s a lot of pressure when I try to fuck somebody in my parent’s house.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (8PM, Bravo) Episode Title: Game of Scones
When you play the Game of Scones you either fight or you die so brace yourself, insults are coming.
Inside Comedy (8PM, Showtime) Louis C.K.; Bob Newhart
Louis C.K. could star in a movie about Honey Boo Boo’s life with him playing Honey Boo Boo and I would watch it.
The Following (9PM, FOX) Maggie devises a plan to put an end to Hardy.
I’ve watched three episodes and I don’t know a single character’s name. It’s basically Kevin Bacon, the guy from Rome and his wife. I’m too busy laughing at everyone else to learn their name.
Dallas (9PM, TNT) J.R. works to undermine Pamela.
He really likes to go out with a bang.
Teen Mom 2 (9PM, MTV) Leah reveals news about her pregnancy.
I see she’s not learning from her mistakes.
Vanderpump Rules (9PM, Bravo) Jax and Laura-Leigh are caught having sex in the bathroom.
If you’re having sex in the bathroom, I don’t think you care that much about being caught.
RuPaul’s Drag Race (9PM, Logo) The queens connect with their inner child when they star in a children’s television show.
If some parents are complaining about Spongebob…
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