Monday, May 14
On this date in 1796, the British physician Edward Jenner performed the first official inoculation against smallpox by using pus collected from cowpox blisters on the hands of milkmaid Sarah Nelmes, who had contracted cowpox, a similar but not nearly as dangerous virus as small pox, from a cow named Blossom. The WHO declared smallpox completely eradicated in 1979, but the virus is still kept in certain labs. Lurking.
America’s Got Talent (NBC 8pm) Premiere: Hopefuls perform for the judges in Los Angeles and St. Louis.
This season we have Howard Stern as a judge and copious product placement by Snapple. Also, the usual crowd of hopelessly delusional contestants.
Bones (Fox 8pm) Finale: When a past suspect is back in court on appeal, Booth and Brennan work to prove he is guilty once and for all; Brennan becomes a suspect.
Super-smart creepy guy who can build computers out of toasters is back! Renewal status: Renewed!
Gossip Girl (The CW 8pm) Finale: Blair is targeted by Gossip Girl, forcing Serena to make a confession; Nate asks Lola to move in with him; Lily makes a decision about her marriage; Blair makes a choice between Dan and Chuck.
I never really got the appeal of this show, but if you’re a fan you will be happy to know that — Renewal status: Renewed, for a shortened final season.
How I Met Your Mother (CBS 8:30pm) Finale: On Barney’s wedding day, the friends remember the time they encouraged Ted to go after the one that got away.
They’ve been promising us for two or three seasons now that Ted meets the mother at Barney’s wedding. So let’s meet her already! Renewal status: Renewed, and if they don’t make this next season the last one, I will be writing very firmly worded letters to CBS.
Two and a Half Men (CBS 9pm) Finale: Jake graduates and must decide what to do with his life.
So much for Charlie Sheen’s prediction that the show would crash and burn without him, because — Renewal status: Renewed.
Hart of Dixie (The CW 9pm) Finale: As Bluebell braces for an impending storm, Lemon and George get ready for their wedding day; Zoe is stranded in a barn with Wade.
Despite the fact that I have never met anybody who watches this show (or admits to watching it at least) — Renewal status: Renewed.
Make It or Break It (ABC Family 9pm) Finale: Lauren battles to qualify for the Olympic team; Payson changes her routine; Kaylie receives bad news regarding her blood test.
Somebody’s been doping….! Or has she? Renewal status: Cancelled! That’s kind of a bummer.
The Bachelorette (ABC 9:30pm) Premiere: Emily Maynard meets 25 bachelors in hope of finding love.
Drinking game ideas? I was thinking a shot every time she mentions her daughter or her dead baby-daddy, but that would probably render me comatose within the first 15 minutes.
Mike and Molly (CBS 9:30pm) Finale: Mike and Molly come across speed bumps as they try to tie the knot.
Renewal status: Renewed!
Hawaii Five-0 (ABC 10pm) Finale: The team goes on a manhunt when one of its own is killed; a team member must choose which one of their kidnapped loved ones will survive.
Sounds like a Sophie’s wae’ana. Renewal Status: Renewed.
Smash (NBC 10pm) Finale: As Tom and Julia work to save the show, Derek makes a decision that permanently changes Karen’s and Ivy’s lives; Ellis’ true colors are revealed.
Apparently not everybody finds this show to be simultaneously ridiculous and boring. Renewal status: Renewed.