Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Monday November 19

Monday November 19

Larry King (November 19, 1933) turns 79 today.  In dog years he’s 553, which seems a little more accurate.

Bones (8PM, FOX)  A pod containing the remains of a crime-scene cleaner washes onto a beach

I guess the ocean’s proverbial toilet is clogged.  If this pod is cylindrical shaped and filled with blood, it’s just like God’s tampon.

Dancing with the Stars: All Stars (8PM, ABC)  Contestants dance to songs from Michael Jackson’s “Bad” album.

Wouldn’t this have been more appropriate when Kirstie Alley, Pamela Anderson, and Bristol Palin were on the show.

The Voice (8PM, NBC)  The top-10 artists perform live for America’s vote.

Favorite part about these shows: The contestants get sent to Hollywood to perform live and Hollywood has to watch it on a tape delay.

The Secret Life of the American Teenager (8PM, ABC Family)  The gang sneaks into an abandoned toy warehouse on Christmas Eve

They are like the people who sneak into an abandoned house looking for food months after an apocalypse.

How I Met Your Mother (8PM, CBS)  Robin negotiates Barney’s return to the strip club circuit.

I love you.  You love me.  Now show me some titties.

Monday Night Football (8:30 PM ET, ESPN)  Chicago Bears vs. San Francisco 49ers

Jason Campbell and Colin Kaepernick are starting as the replacement QBs tonight.

They’ll need heart.  Miles and miles of heart.

Gossip Girl (9PM, CW)  Rufus and Ivy look forward to their gallery opening.

Are those names of humans?

Don’t look, I’m not finished yet.

 RuPaul’s All Star Drag Race (9PM, Logo)  The final four assume super hero and super foe alter egos.

As long as no one comes up  with “Scatman”.

Revolution (10PM, NBC)  As Miles and the gang head to Monroe’s lair, they have trouble separating fantasy from reality.

Is Monroe’s lair where they film Keeping Up With The Kardashians?

Start-Ups: Silicon Valley (10PM, Bravo)  Kim teaches Dwight how to behave on a date

Don’t act like this guy.

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