Thursday December 6
“I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing ‘Happy Birthday.’ ” -Steven Wright (December 6, 1955; age 57)
The X Factor (8PM, FOX) Contestants face elimination; performances from Melanie Amaro
I wonder if Simon will find some way to enter Melanie back into the competition so she can win again for drama/a ratings ploy.
The Vampire Diaries (8PM, CW) Elena shares shocking news
Oh my God, is she Team Jacob?
30 Rock (8PM, NBC) Tracy tries to cheer up Kenneth.
Normally, I would say it’s hard to cheer someone up when you can only yell, but unless you’re his gay son I think it’s easy to laugh around Tracy.
The Big Bang Theory (8PM, CBS) Wolowitz and his father-in-law plan a fishing trip.
Jews fishing + Chuck Lorre = Jesus joke in 3, 2, 1.
Glee (9PM, FOX) Finn thinks about his future with New Directions
So if five gay men walk in One Direction, do twelve or so losers walk in New Directions or into Nude Erections?
Project Runway All Stars (9PM, Lifetime) The designers must create a red carpet look using only eco-friendly fabrics and materials.
As for the plastic models, they can stay.
The Real Housewives of Miami (9PM, Bravo) The ladies plan for a weekend of healing in the Bahamas
Can a person heal from being a complete and utter bitch?
Jersey Shore (10PM, MTV) Mike acknowledges his past mistakes and attempts to make amends
Unless he can erase the countless Ronnie and Sam fights from my memories, I think this is a waste of time.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (10PM, FX) The gang tries to define the difference between the real and the virtual worlds after slipping into an unhealthy obsession with computer games.
Based on what I hear come out of some of the mouths of ten year olds who play online, I say the gang would fit right in.
The League (10:30PM, FX) Jenny uses insider information to make a dirty trade.
I haven’t seen a white woman go down this bad in an insider trading scandal since Martha Stewart. She’s off to white collar fantasy jail.
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