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Tuesday February 5
“What are you, nuts? Beautiful? More like supermegafoxyawesomehot! She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever met. She’s far more attractive, far more appealing, far more interesting than any girl. That I know. In my immediate group of friends.” - Darren Criss (February 5, 1987; age 26)
Betty White’s 2nd Annual 90th Birthday Special (8PM, NBC) A celebration of the actress and comic’s birthday and career includes musical performances and appearances by some of Hollywood’s biggest stars.
I’ll wait for her eleventy first birthday celebration.
The Taste (8PM, ABC) The mentors work with teams of four cooks to create comfort food dishes.
To Americans, all food is comfort food because we sit on our asses while we eat it.
The Sisterhood (8PM, TLC) Tensions rise when Domonique and Delana come face to face at Tara’s son’s Christian Bar Mitzvah.
WTF, I could’ve had a Christian Bar Mitzvah? I missed out on some good money.
Bad Girls Club: Atlanta (8PM, Oxygen) Shannon questions her feelings for an old flame after his shocking behavior during his visit.
“He didn’t beat me or nothing this time around. He’s changed.”
Smash (9PM, NBC; Season Premiere) Karen finds herself on the brink of success, though her fame may come at a cost to Ivy.
Now that she’s sad, she has become Blue Ivy. Good career move.
The Bachelor (9PM, ABC) Sean asks seven bachelorettes to take a plunge in icy-cold Lake Louise.
He knows he can have sex with them, right? Unless he just likes playing with his food.
Dance Moms (9PM, Lifetime) Jill tries to become Abby’s new favorite mother.
Jill, you have a little brown mark on your nose.
Snooki and JWOWW (10PM, MTV) Jenni tries to prove to Roger that she is outdoorsy.
…By working on her tan.
Justified (10PM, FX) The search for Drew Thompson leads Raylan into the remote wilds of Kentucky hill country with unexpected results.
“These hills don’t have eyes at all. What a disappointment.”
Tosh.0 (10PM, Comedy Central; Season Premiere) Daniel and his staff do various sports challenges.
These must be Greek sports because they will most definitely be naked while competing.
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