Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Tuesday March 19th

Tuesday March 19th

Thankfully, TVGasm doesn’t work on BWT aka Bruce Willis Time. – Bruce Willis (March 19, 1955; age 58)

2013 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament (6:30PM ET, TruTV)  First Four Round

That time of year when millions of sports fans say to themselves, “What the fuck is TruTV?”

NCIS (8PM, CBS)  A woman asks the NCIS team to investigate the death of her husband, a Marine who specialized in K-9 bomb detection.

Now, when she said that her husband was a dog, I just assumed he was sleeping around.

Hell’s Kitchen (8PM, FOX)  Chef Ramsay puts the contestants through a physical challenge involving lobsters.

This time the lobsters won’t be the ones in pain while dangling in the air.

Splash (8PM, ABC; Series Premiere) After training with professional divers for weeks, five celebrities face their fears as they flip and twist into the pool.

This is the real celebrity diving reality show that we stole from the UK. Not that other one. Also, I think reality shows have reached the same point that Bill Burr mentioned that those white guilt movies reached with the All-Black Swimming Team movie. I just don’t give a shit anymore.

Dance Moms (8PM, Lifetime)  The girls prepare for a group number that is a tribute to Rosa Parks.

OK all the black girls up front for this one…We don’t have any black kids?…Where’s the shoe polish?

How We Invented the World (9PM, Discovery; Series Premiere, 2 episodes)  How the sinking of the Titanic, Frankenstein’s monster, and actress Hedy Lamarr inspired the development of the mobile phone.

Is this show written by the same writers who came up with the endings for Kenan and Kel?

Little People, Big World: Conquering Mount St. Helens (10PM, TLC)  Matt builds a schoolhouse in secret as a gift for Amy.

I hope Matt realizes that she is not a child. Although, if anybody would know…

Justified (10PM, FX)  Boyd and the Detroit mob try every dirty trick there is to stop Raylan and Drew Thompson from leaving Harlan alive.

“Has that package from ACME come in yet?”

The Definitive Guide to Aliens (10PM, Science)  Episode Title: What to Expect

…When You’re Expecting

Urban Tarzan (10:30PM, Spike; Series Premiere)  A gun toting chimp must be wrangled.

Oh my God, Planet of the Apes is a true story!

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