Wednesday January 16
Joe Flacco, or as my iPhone likes to call him “Joe flaccid”, turns 28 today (January 16, 1985). Good luck against the Patriots!
American Idol (8PM, FOX; Season Premiere) Hopefuls perform for the judges in New York.
New York. Because if you can’t make it here… you can try out for American Idol. Hell, they may even let you be a judge.
Arrow (8PM, CW) Oliver takes a break from being Arrow.
It must be Sunday.
Modern Family (9PM, ABC) Haley starts hanging out with a much older guy.
I like how they made one of the kids just be there; no school, no job. It’s almost sad how many people in real life I know are in the same situation. If this show wasn’t on network TV, her character would probably be going into porn.
Toddlers and Tiaras (9PM, TLC) Paetynn, 4, Elesha, 5, and pro performer Daisy, 8, are out to win the competition at the Pirate Pageant.
I am now concerned about my niece’s fascination with “Jake and the Never Land Pirates”.
Nashville (10PM, ABC) Rayna and Juliette prepare for their first concert together in San Diego.
Best chance Qualcomm Stadium has of selling out.
Top Chef: Seattle (10PM, Bravo) The teams are men vs. women as the chefs try to impress restaurateur Danny Meyer.
The women have the home field advantage.
Moonshiners (10PM, Discovery) Tim searches for 60-year-old shine trapped at the bottom of a lake.
He then proceeds to get his fucking shine box.
American Horror Story: Asylum (10PM, FX) Grace’s obsession with the aliens turns violent.
When did they invite Steven Spielberg to guest direct?
Cheer Perfection (10PM, TLC) Bonnie and Sharon plan a surprise party.
But no caterer. They have a competition coming up.
Workaholics (10PM, Comedy Central) The guys strive to be the funniest ones at an office roast.
That’s what Patrice O’Neal did and all people cared about was Lisa Lampanelli and Whitney Cummings. Because people are stupid.
Looking for something new to watch? Check out these other new and returning shows and trash them with us on our Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/TVGasm
Ghost Hunters (9PM, Syfy)
Bobby’s Dinner Battle (10PM, Food)
Fix My Family (10PM, WE)
Ghost Mine (10PM, Syfy)
Kroll Show (10:30PM, Comedy Central)
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