Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Wednesday January 9

Wednesday January 9th

Kate Middleton (January 9, 1982) turns 31 today.  Luckily, she didn’t marry Henry VIII.

Stars in Danger: The High Dive (8PM, FOX)  Following an intense training course, nine celebrities compete in a series of Olympic-style dives.

This is slowly moving towards a society where D-list celebrities will become gladiators fighting in large arenas, re-enacting ancient events… As if they were actors.

I Get That A Lot (8PM, CBS)  Celebrities that include Cheech Marin, Phil Keoghan, Bruce Jenner, and Larry Hagman pull pranks on unsuspecting people by pretending to be celebrity look-alikes.

Larry Hagman would be a bigger get if they filmed it today.

People’s Choice Awards 2013 (9PM, CBS)  Kaley Cuoco hosts; performances from Christina Aguilera, Jason Aldean and Alicia Keys.

I like Kaley Cuoco and everything, but talking isn’t her strong point.

Amish Mafia (9PM, Discovery)  Levi’s war with Ohio boss Merlin escalates

Merlin wouldn’t happen to be a wizard now, would he?

Toddlers and Tiaras (9PM, TLC)  California Tropic: Under the Sea Pageant

Considering “Back to the Future”, this is the most appropriate and at the same time inappropriate name for a pageant on this show.

Nashville (10PM, ABC)  When Rayna suggests bringing her girls on tour, she learns that Lamar is willing to blackmail her

I have a feeling, Khloe Kardashian has had similar experiences.

Top Chef: Seattle (10PM, Bravo)  The cheftestants must impress Wolfgang Puck.

I wonder if calling him Wolfie would work…

Moonshiners (10PM, Discovery)  Gunfire erupts in the bamboo patch

That’s what you get for arming the panda bears.  Bear arms do have the right to bear arms, though.

American Horror Story: Asylum (10PM, FX)  The Monsignor goes to extreme lengths to silence Jude.

Hey Jude, don’t be afraid.  You were made to go out and get her.

Cheer Perfection (10PM, TLC)  Two of the best tumblers get injured.

I knew they shouldn’t let Mike Shanahan take over.

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