Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Wednesday, July 18

Wednesday, July 18

Kristen Bell, the most adorable actress on the face of the planet, turns 32 today. Here’s hoping her boyfriend didn’t rent another sloth for her birthday party! (Or maybe here’s hoping he did. The results were epic. As is this autotune video.)

Big Brother (CBS 8pm) Contestants compete in the veto competition.

I have never watched a single episode of this show, but I have to say that I am loving the recaps for this season so far.

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox 8pm) Dancers at risk for elimination perform; two contestants are eliminated.

After 4 hours of watching the top 20 dance, they finally cut two people loose. That seems cruel. To the viewers.

America’s Got Talent (NBC 9pm) Four acts move on to the top 24.

Begging the questions, how many acts have already moved on to the top 24, and does this mean that there are 6 episodes devoted solely to building the top 24? Summertime reality competition shows seem really sadistic this year.

Beverly Hills Nannies (ABC Family 9pm) After-hours activities and outside aspirations turn the nannies against each other; Kristin leaves Amber in the lurch; Justin looks for another job.

This show just epitomizes use of the hashtag #FirstWorldProblems.

Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC 9pm) Tori, Amiya and Jasmine try to overcome their pageant-day debacles at the Miss Mardi Gras Madness Pageant.

I’m sincerely hoping these girls don’t have to win Mardi Gras beads in the usual way. Sadly, I’m not ruling it out entirely.

Dallas (TNT 9pm) Rebecca reveals a secret to Elena; Ann’s ex-husband demands an apology; John Ross tries to turn family members against each other; a family associate is murdered.

Awesome! I can just see the T-shirts now: Who Killed Family Associate?

Around the World in 80 Plates (Bravo 10pm) Finale: The three final chefs battle for victory in front of the Los Angeles food critic community; Wolfgang Puck serves as local food expert.

Does Wolfgang Puck still have credibility in the culinary world after putting his name on a line of canned soups?

The Real World: St. Thomas (MTV 10pm) Episode: To Pee or Not to Pee

It’s an MTV show; Snooki already broke the inappropriate urination barrier, so I say go when your bladder says “Go!”

Virgin Diaries (TLC 10pm) Premiere: Skippy is a 34-year-old Mormon virgin; Lindsey is a widower; Karissa is a 29-year-old virgin.

This is Skippy, featured in tonight’s episode. He is 34 and lives in his parents’ basement. I cannot imagine how he has managed to remain a virgin this long. I mean, talk about girl-bait, amirite?

Necessary Roughness (USA 10pm) Episode: What’s Eating You?

Besides the fact that Marc Blucas has a full-time acting gig on a successful USA show?

What will you be watching tonight?

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