Tonight’s Top 10 Shows: Wednesday, May 30

Wednesday, May 30

Andrew Jackson, the 7th President of the United States and the wild-haired figure on $20 bills, fought his famous duel against Charles Dickinson on this date in 1806. Jackson had accidentally married a still-married woman several years prior, and although she did finally get a valid divorce and legally re-marry Jackson, the bigamous episode remained an extremely sore point. Dickinson published a newspaper article which both spoke poorly of Jackson’s wife and called Jackson out for a duel, which he accepted. Dickinson was considered to be an expert shot, and his bullet hit Jackson in the ribs, wounding but not killing him. The rules of dueling stated that once you fired your weapon, if the other party had not yet fired, you had to stand there and wait for him to take his turn. Jackson carefully took aim and fired a fatal shot, solidifying his reputation as hot-headed and reactionary. And now your next trip to the ATM will be filled with thoughts of historical juiciness.

Dogs in the City (CBS 8pm) Premiere: Justin works with the owners of a skateboarding bulldog, a model agency owner with an aggressive dog, and a single father with an obese dog.

Our bulldog is barely intelligent enough to find his food dish every day; I’m fairly certain that if we tried to get him to ride a skateboard, things would not go well.

I’m cute, but I’m stoopid.

2012 Stanley Cup Finals (NBC 8pm) Los Angeles Kings at New Jersey Devils

So that’s happening.

So You Think You Can Dance (Fox 8pm) Auditions continue in Los Angeles.

PottyMouth continues to recap them.

Melissa & Joey (ABC Family 8pm) Premiere: Joe takes charge of the home renovation, but his management style only creates more problems; Lennox’s school offers to stage her original play.

Every character that Joseph Lawrence has played for more than 20 episodes has been named either Joey or Joe. Draw your own conclusions.

America’s Next Top Model (The CW 9pm) Finale: As the finalists tackle a commercial and photo shoot, one model has a panic attack; after an innovative runway show, the winner is chosen.

Renewal Status: Cancelled. Psych! If they cancelled this show, Tyra Banks would die due to lack of ego-strokage. Cycle 19 is forthcoming.

Hatfields and McCoys (The History Channel 9pm) Bad Frank’s raids force the besieged Hatfields deeper into the mountains; Johnse sets his sights on another McCoy woman; Nancy McCoy spies on the Hatfields; a shattering New Year’s Day battle

Per cattyfan in yesterday’s comments: ” …I admit with the dirt, beards, and monochrome wardrobes, I’m having trouble sorting out who’s who. And that’s just the women…”

Around the World in 80 Plates (Bravo 10pm) The chef’s get heated in Marrakech when one team’s ingredients go missing; chef Moha Fedal is the local food expert.

African food always makes me think of Bailey’s advice to Callie in season 5 of Grey’s Anatomy.

“In Ethiopia they eat stew off of spongy, sour bread. That’s not for everyone!”

Randy Jackson Presents: America’s Best Dance Crew (MTV 10pm) LMFAO Superstar Challenge: RedFoo presents the crews with challenges; the LMFAO choreographers stop by the rehearsal studio.

They then proceed to place cardboard boxes over the dancers’ heads and teach them how to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle.

Total Blackout (SyFy 10pm) Contestants must overcome their fear of the dark by competing in pitch black.

Hosted by Jaleel White; looks like not winning Dancing With the Stars seriously affected his career choices.

Toddlers & Tiaras (TLC 10pm) Emma, McKenzie and Liz are fired up to win the Mississippi Sweet Pea luau-theme pageant.

A luau in the deep South? That is going to be a trainwreck and a half.

What will you be watching tonight?

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